| 18 days to go before the Cave Run M.F. Outing...about a month or so ago, peeps were lighting up the board w/ all kinds of fad diets and determined views on shedding unwanted pounds...much to my surprise, little has been mentioned recently. Actually, it doesn't suprise me...for instead of torturing meself by food curbage, I have been stuffing me tummy w/ high caloric carbs, creams and fats, creating a medical malady commonly known as "NUCLEAR WAIST."
This condition results in taking on the appearance of a plastic bobber, or a giant tear drop, and you can amuse the family by having your steering wheel disappear into your mid section. Belt buckles strain, creak and snap when sitting or standing, and the sound of pants ripping is much like the sound of a ships sail being torn from the mast during gale force winds. Wedged between a doorway, one makes an easy target for family members, so remember to enter/exit sideways through home openings. I must stay away from sharp objects, as a puncture could send a mushroom cloud of gut and spray that would take out a city block, thus making me a walking processed "food bomb". Throwing caution to the wind, we must first eat and fish, and worry ourselves w/ trimming down to swim suit shape later...anyone still making progress in this area???:O |
