Red Neck Muskie Mans Valentine
>>
>> Collards is green,
>> my dog's name is Blue
>> and I'm so lucky
>> to have a sweet thang like you.
>>
>>
>> Yore hair is like cornsilk
>> a-flapping in the breeze.
>> Softer than Blue's
>> and without all them fleas.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> You move like the Muskies,
>> which excite me in May.
>> You ain't got no scales
>> but I luv you anyway.
>>
>>
>> Yo're as satisfy'n as bluegills
>> jist a-fry'n in the pan.
>> Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
>> right out of the can.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> You have some'a yore teeth,
>> for which I am proud;
>> I hold my head high
>> when we're in a crowd.
>>
>>
>> On special occasions
>> when you shave under yore arms,
>> well, I'm in hawg heaven,
>> and awed by yore charms.
>>
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>>
>>
>>
>> Still them fellers at work
>> they all want to know,
>> what I did to deserve
>> such a purdy, young doe.
>>
>>
>> Like a good roll of duct tape
>> yo're there fer yore man,
>> to patch up life's troubles
>> and fix what you can.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Yo're as cute as a junebug
>> a-buzzin' overhead.
>> You ain't mean like those far ants
>> I found in my bed.
>>
>>
>> Cut from the best cloth
>> like a plaid flannel shirt,
>> you spark up my life more
>> than a fresh load of garden dirt.
>>
>>
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>>
>>
>> When you hold me real tight
>> like a padded gunrack,
>> my life is complete;
>> Ain't nuttin' I lack.
>>
>>
>> Yore complexion, it's perfection,
>> like the best vinyl sidin'.
>> despite all the years,
>> yore age, it keeps hidin'.
>>
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>>
>>
>>
>> Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
>> with Coca Cola from Sponge,
>> we go together
>> like a Slammer goes with a Lunge.
>>
>>
>> Some men, they buy chocolate
>> for Valentine's Day;
>> They git it at Wal-Mart,
>> it's romantic that way.
>>
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>>
>>
>> Some men git roses
>> on that special day
>> from the cooler at Kroger.
>> That's impressive," I say.
>>
>>
>> Some men buy fine diamonds
>> from a flea market booth.
>> "Diamonds are forever,"
>> they explain, suave and couth.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> But for this man, honey,
>> these just won't do.
>> Cause yo're too special,
>> you sweet thang you.
>>
>>
>>
>> I got you a gift,
>> without taste nor odor,
>> More useful than diamonds...
>> it's a new troll'n motor!!
