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Message Subject: So you southerners think you want snow... | |||
JimtenHaaf |
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Posts: 717 Location: Grand Rapids, MI | December 8 - 6:00 PM It started snowing. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktail drinks and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. We love snow! December 9 We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a little boy again. I cleared both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplough came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life! December 12 The sun has melted all our lovely snow... Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry - we'll definitely have a White Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. However, Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor. December 13 Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20F. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplough came back this afternoon and buried everything again.. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so. December 15 20 inches forecast for today. I sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tyres for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. We stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's extravagant. We aren't in Alaska, after all. December 16 Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel. December 17 Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Today the electricity was off for 4 hours. We had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. Gee I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room. December 20 Yippee the electricity's back on, but we had another 14 inches of the #*^@ stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The #*^@ snowplough came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying. December 22 Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to go to the loo. By the time I got undressed, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plough on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the nice tryhole is lying. December 23 Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to zero. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying. December 24 6 inches fell, but the snow was packed so hard by the snowplough, I broke my shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son-of-a-good guy who drives that snowplough, I'll drag him through the snow by his hair and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the #*^@ snowplough. December 25 - Christmas Day Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the #*^@ slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplough driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a real idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave. December 26 Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves. December 27 Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,750 to replace 4 of my pipes. December 28 Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The good guy is driving me crazy!!! December 29 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? December 30 Roof caved in. I beat up the snowplough driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his nice try. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted. December 31 I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling. January 8 Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed??? | ||
muskie_man |
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Posts: 1237 Location: South Portsmouth, KY | What is this snow that you speak of? its like 70 here today!! Edited by muskie_man 3/1/2012 3:52 PM | ||
Madmanmusky |
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Posts: 344 Location: Musky Country | hahahahahahahaha Great story!!!!!!! | ||
Kirby Budrow |
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Posts: 2325 Location: Chisholm, MN | HAHA! | ||
schleprock82 |
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Posts: 99 | LOVE IT!!!!! | ||
Stan Durst 1 |
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Posts: 1207 Location: Pigeon Forge TN. | I know all about snow, lived 45 mile South of Lake Erie all my life. Right in the snow belt. No thanks guys, you can keep it up there that is why I am in Tenn. ha ha | ||
Landonfish |
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Posts: 360 | Stan suppose to be sixty here in pa tmro. No snow to speak of. | ||
Guest |
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I almost just peeed myself laughing.. That story made my day! Don't we all love the white stuff! | |||
Haaaaaaaa! |
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That's funny shtuff! You shoulda bought a wood chipper and stuffed the snowplough guy in there Fargo style then stole his truck and used it. | |||
Stan Durst 1 |
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Posts: 1207 Location: Pigeon Forge TN. | Good to hear Landonfish, They could use a break up there. Trees are blooming down here. Easter lilies have been blooming for two weeks now. | ||
Guest |
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I would take snow everyday over this! http://www.spc.noaa.gov/products/outlook/day1probotlk_2000_torn.gif | |||
Flambeauski |
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Posts: 4343 Location: Smith Creek | Thanks for the laugh, Jim. | ||
Esox50unplugged |
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Too funny! | |||
Steve Van Lieshout |
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Posts: 1916 Location: Greenfield, WI | I'm in Saudi Arabia for the last three weeks for work. The forecast for tonight is 0 degrees Centigrade , or 32 F. for the northern areas of the country. The Government is warning the people to stay inside and not to travel! Quit your whining about a little snow, you could have to deal with 32 degrees!!! Imagine what that must be like! My first observation of Saudi is there is no Muskie Water anywhere within driving distance. I am collecting raw materials for the new "soon to be sweeping the muskie world" prototype DogHouse Bucktail called the Cameltail! Order soon because there will be a very limited supply! The third is that I may be the best muskie fisherman in the entire country!.........at least if nobody else is here! And lastly. do you have any idea how hard it is here to buy a current issue of MuskieHunter Magazine that isn't in published Arabic! Edited by Steve Van Lieshout 3/3/2012 12:12 AM | ||
crazy c |
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Posts: 16 | hey you gonna try to come down for the ice out challunge again ??some guys are banngin fish already im gonna get out this week for sure! | ||
Jerry Newman |
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Location: 31 | Steve Van Lieshout - 3/3/2012 12:07 AM I'm in Saudi Arabia for the last three weeks for work. The forecast for tonight is 0 degrees Centigrade , or 32 F. for the northern areas of the country. The Government is warning the people to stay inside and not to travel! Quit your whining about a little snow, you could have to deal with 32 degrees!!! Imagine what that must be like! My first observation of Saudi is there is no Muskie Water anywhere within driving distance. I am collecting raw materials for the new "soon to be sweeping the muskie world" prototype DogHouse Bucktail called the Cameltail! Order soon because there will be a very limited supply! The third is that I may be the best muskie fisherman in the entire country!.........at least if nobody else is here! And lastly. do you have any idea how hard it is here to buy a current issue of MuskieHunter Magazine that isn't in published Arabic! The best musky fisherman in the country, and all the camel toe you can handle… You're lucky man Steve! Edited by Jerry Newman 3/4/2012 11:01 PM | ||
JimtenHaaf |
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Posts: 717 Location: Grand Rapids, MI | crazy c - 3/4/2012 6:28 PM hey you gonna try to come down for the ice out challunge again ??some guys are banngin fish already im gonna get out this week for sure! Hey, Curt! Yeah, I want to stick with the annual tradition and come down again. Last year was nice, as the wife let me go for Friday & Saturday. Maybe I can talk her into it again. Speaking of which... better get on the phone with the motel! | ||
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