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| how do you guys keep fishing and marriage in balance. i know a couple guys that are good sticks and go all the time but now are not married anymore. when do you draw the line and say"maybe i need to spend time with the misses" just wondered |
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Posts: 305
Location: Illinois | There is no wrong or right answer. It depends on the marriage. My wife knew before she married me that musky fishing was my gig. Because I want to be fishing, I seldom go to bars or do some of the other things that my married non fishing friends do. I think she realizes that it could be worse. I could be out boozing every night and chasing girls but instead I chase fat green girls about once a week or so. I think the key for me is to recognize when not to go or even ask for that matter. Every marriage is different so there is no right answer. |
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Posts: 2112
Location: The Sportsman, home, or out on the water | When my wife and I were dating, I told her that I wanted to share musky fishing and deer hunting with her. I showed her some good musky porn, she had a follow her first time out, and I caught a nice 40" in front of her. Now, she asks me when can we go out musky fishing. Lori is as afflicted with this as we are now. |
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Posts: 1936
Location: Eau Claire, WI | It'll be our 20 year anniversary in April... For us it comes down to respect, understanding, and priorities, like anything worth while it takes effort. No different than most things in life, you generally get out of it what you put in... Helps that my wife enjoys being in the boat and that my daughter is grown and out of the house. Just the two of us and one really spoiled Yellow Lab in the house now.
You need to find balance of what works for you, no two relationships are the same, but the principals to success are most often quite similar.
I have seen many a mans hobby, be it fishing, racing, motorcycles, etc. take priority over their marriages and next thing you know they are divorced.
I'm no expert, I just know that the longer I'm married the more I enjoy spending time with my wife.
Good luck... |
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Posts: 40
| Everybody needs time away, I spend mine Musky Fishing. How does the old saying go, "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Also, it helps that my fishing partner is her brother!!!
Seriously, she knows it is a passion and as long as I don't push it, things are cool. I am very lucky!!! |
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Posts: 686
Location: Tomahawk, Wisconsin | When I got married last June I made the catch of my life.I too am very lucky to have a very understanding wife when it comes to my musky fishing. Even when we were dating going musky thrashing was a common thread in our courtship. I am lucky in that I have many opportunities within 5 minutes of my home and even if my full days on the water have been more limited, sometimes all it takes is that "one cast". There is alot more to life than musky fishing although it may be hard at times to keep that perspective. My wife and I spent our honeymoon up on Lake of the Woods. We caught a few fish, she had a superfish up, and the best part in my mind was just hanging out and having a shorelunch in the Canadian wilderness. We are expecting our second child in a few days, my time will be divided up even moreso, I guess it all depends on the individual as to balance, but I know that last summer having my five year old son, wife, and myself all up casting spoke volumes of the balance in my life. |
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Posts: 2091
Location: Stevens Point, WI | Julia understands my passion for fishing and that is my relief from a very strenuous and emotional job I have in the ER. Fortunately, she likes to fish herself though on a very limited basis for muskie. She's starting to get the hang of it, but would rather stick to walleyes and bass. Our work schedules allow me to fish quite a bit. She works Monday through Friday and I work seven nights on seven days off, so I fish almost every day during my weeks off while she is at work. I try to make it home before she does and it works out well for both of us. |
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Posts: 2
Location: Tomahawk,WI | This is the first time I've been on this site and felt that this particular subject needs a women's point of view. Maybe it will give all you men a better understanding.I'm the wife of the Muskydr aka Dave Jonesi. This is a subject that I feel far and few wives understand, unless they to have a passion for fishing like I do. In all honesty, I feel it depends on your relationship with your significant other. You need to keep that line of communication open between each other and yes there are times you are going to have to make sacrifices, thats just how relationships are. Make a mental note when dating her that if she doesn't like you going fishing now, she most likley won't like you to go once you get married. I myself knew when I was dating Dave (my husband now) that he had this passion to Musky fish. I have told him more then once "I would rather have you fish than go out to the bars." etc... And boy's it doesen't hurt to call her one in a while when your out on the water just to let her know you are thinking about her, or better yet ask her to come out with you, make a day out of it. Beach the boat and have a cook out or float around and have a nice romantic picnic in the boat, she would probably want to join you more often. My husband and I went to Canada fishing for our Honeymoon last July and in all honesty I wanted to go to someplace warm, but instead we ended up going to "Lake Of The Woods". I didn't get any Muskies, however I had one push water and I raised a beast that was 50+ she was a foot from my bait. I called her "BIG MONA" That was soooo cool! I still had fun though and would do it again. We have a 5 year old son and a baby on the way, I hope they follow in their dads footsteps in the great passion of musky fishing.  -KELLY |
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Posts: 127
Location: NW burbs of Chicago | As with Kelly, I'd like to offer a female perspective. One would like to think that the basic marriage precepts of respect and communciation still apply to muskie fishermen, so to me, this seems like a somewhat silly question. When you marry someone, you generally know enough about them to realize their likes, dislikes, hobbies, bad habits, etc., and you are marrying that entire person.
Maybe I'm crazy, but I would think that fishing too much is not enough alone to ruin a marriage and the fact that someone is spending all his/her time on the water without the significant other is a signal that something else is wrong in the marriage.
As someone about to marry a muskie fisherman, I appreciate the following:
--having a boat to hang out in on nice summer days
--that by going fishing with him every once in a while makes him REALLY happy to be sharing something he loves so much with me
--that he then will tag along with me on things I want to do because I do the same for him
--that he is so passionate about something and that he STILL gets so excited every time he nets a muskie
--that he was a person who had interests other than me before I met him, and I would never really respect a person if they gave up the things that made him the man I fell in love with just because I told him to, just as I would never respect him if he asked me to give up the things that I enjoyed doing just because he was in my life
In marriage, as in all relationships, there is a give and take, and I think fishing is just one of them. And I totally agree with Kelly: It doesn't hurt to get a call while he's on the water so that you know that even if he's not with you, he's still thinking of you, even though he's fishing.
But that's just my 2 cents.
Crash Mc_G |
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Posts: 699
Location: Hugo, MN | It's best to break them in before marriage. If this is not possible try fishing early morning when she may still be sleeping or overnight. Then again you can always teach her/him to fish too. There are a multitude of options but it should by no means be a marriage ending thing. Also, plan around the crappy fishing times makes plans for her during the waxing and waning qtr moons save the New and Full Moons for fishing that the best time, on average anyway.
Edited by marine_1 3/25/2005 10:31 AM
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Posts: 880
Location: New Berlin,Wisconsin,53151 | Were celebrating 25 years this year and when my wife and I first met she didn't know about my fishing hornies. So when the kids got older (out of diapers) I started to fish again, this caused a strain on the marriage and almost sent me to the other side. What happened after that was a give and take. During the summer I would go on a fishing weekend she would take the next trip with the girls canoeing. This worked out pretty well.
Winter I would take the whole family to the ice shanty along with a snowmobile-sleigh, invite friends and make a day of it. You can do the same in summer if you know of a lake that rents pontoons, bring your fishing boats and put the family on the lake for the day.
You have to be flexible though don't press an issue of going fishing over losing your marriage. Let her know about your trips far in advance.
The best advise is to marry a partner that likes to do the same things as you. If she dosen't like you fishing or hunting your going to have a rocky go of it. I know, I lived it for many years....
Netman |
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| My Bride and I have will been married for 30 yrs on April 3rd, all I can say is Family First.
My wife is my life fishing takes second place when it comes right down to it Fishing is just not that Important
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| Crash,
You got a sister? I hate you even more now Slamr. Nice catch.
Nice Post.
S- |
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Posts: 132
Location: Kawarthas, Ontario | My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We both enjoy playing golf together. She is an amazing downhill skiier. I've tried it, but I'm not very good at it, although I do go and give it a whirl a few times every year. On the same token, she comes out muskie fishing with me a few times every season too. She won't spend 12 hours in the boat fishing, but throw in a picnic, a swim, a walk on the beach, and 4-6 hours of fishing, and she is quite content. It's all about compromise.
She also knows my passion for muskie fishing is as bad (well, worse) than hers for skiing. She takes 3-4 trips a year to endulge her skiing passion on BIG hills, rather than coddling me on smaller hills/resorts. However, throw in the fact that my guiding, writing, and seminars bring in a little dough to help cover our occasional trips to sunny warm climates, and this also seems to help take some of the sting out of my time on the water.
The hardest part for me is at the end of a tough and long day of guiding. I'm tired and exhausted, no matter how wonderful or bad the day has been. But I still make the best effort I can to pay attention to her, and do something together... be it going for a walk or watching a movie together. That also makes a huge difference.
Regards,
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Posts: 578
Location: Sheboygan Falls, WI | I met a great woman while going to college in Steven Point. One of the first things I told her on our first date was that I fish and I live to fish. I also told her that my summer job was working on a fishing charter on Lake Michigan. I musky fished and everything else. Either she had to accept that or we might as well finish our drinks and head back to the dorms. Well, the next thing out of her mouth was that she liked to fish as well. I told her I started fishing when I was 7. She said, "I can beat that, I started when I was 3." I thought to myself, "Oh my God, I think this date will have to continue."
Well, I married that beautiful woman, Kristy, and July will be 12 years. Two great kids later and here we are. I, with a job that I absolutely love and her; well let's just say she is having a lot of fun. Okay, she owns her own fishing bait and tackle store!!! She see's Musky Dr (Dave) and Musky Nurse (Kelly) on a pretty regular basis. Well, until recently because of the baby coming and everything. (Dave, you really made her mad on this one. Wait until the delivery room. You know those tension reliever soft squeezey deals? Well you have one and she's gonna use it. LOL)
As for our kids, Brooke is my musky tournament fishing partner. She just turned 11 and will be fishing her second tourny with me in May, the Petenwell Musky Challenge. Darrick is 8 and the little bugger was roll casting when he was 6 with his closed face reel, WITH EITHER HAND!!! Brooke was fishing when she was 2. Darrick was fishing when he was 4.
The reason our marriage has been so successful? Shear understanding. I do not push the limits on my fishing time. I know when and when not to approach the subject. Family is very important to me and having them happy is an absolute must. When I had the musky going nuts this past fall all Kristy did was smile and said, "Be careful and have fun." She knew that I gave up musky fishing when I wanted to go at other times during the summer and she was more than willing to give me some freedom. Plus, having the kids involved in fishing is HUGE.
It is a game of give and take. Just do not play games and try to take too much.
Live to fish, Love to fish; take your pick.
Chuck |
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Posts: 152
| I'll tell you how I do it. I have four exwives and am single. Works for me! Later |
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Posts: 32934
Location: Rhinelander, Wisconsin | I finally found a lady who loves to fish as much as I. Sue fishes Muskie League with me, takes a trip to the Goon every year, and spends countless hours enjoying fishing for everything from Muskies to Crappies. She would rather shop at a Muskie show than at any Wal Mart. Guess where we met...... Go ahead, Guess! |
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| I try to keep my fishing days on the calender . Having two young girls and a full timeworking wife makes it tough but I always manage to get out twice a week during the summer months . My fishing days are always set for Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings . My wife always plans an activity for her and the girls on wed. night and they go to Sunday school and church on Sundays . It seems to work well for us we always know what days I'm going and there is no aruguments . Hope this helps
THE FERD |
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Posts: 389
Location: Presque Isle Wisconsin | It can all be summed up in the advice handed out years ago by an old fishing guide.
: Never marry a woman who wont piss in a livewell"
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| i understand the peeing in the livewell thing. my wife has been doing that for the past 17 years. we also worked out a deal with her retireing at age 40, and i got to pick out the lake that we would move to. well we moved to mille lacs lake. that was 3 years ago. there is still good days and better days. i think for me, i fish more, but i don't have to be gone all day. go out and fish a few spots and go back in and take care of a few honeydo's. she also fishes more, a few hours at a time. she really likes the spring and fall shallow water walleye crankbait bite. i guess it a trade off, she also likes to antique shop. we do a antiqueing trip to the hayward wi area every june, no boat, no rods, just her, the dog and i, and some years, her mom and dad. when it comes down to it, you get out of it what you put into it, and thats the bottom line. |
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