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| There was an old gezzer named Rusty.
Who had never landed a Muskie.
So he swallowed his pride.
And hired a guide.
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Posts: 259
Location: Madison, WI | but the guide was clueless and crusty.
They launched on the north shore of Cass
Caught nothing but a small largemouth bass
The guide Rusty hired
Threw one more cast, but mis-fired
Ole' Rusty got hooked in the a$$
Rusty swatted the guide with his cap,
Said, "This is a load of crap!"
Man, how this sucks!
I could have saved 300 bucks,
By buying an FHS map.
Sorry, cabin fever has set in. I couldn't resist 
Have fun,
"Jackpot" John Schroeder |
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Posts: 215
Location: Wisconsin | LMAO!!
Nice ending to that limerick!! |
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| Gooder one dude!:O |
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Posts: 7123
Location: Northwest Chicago Burbs | There was an old gezzer named Rusty.
Who had never landed a Muskie.
So he swallowed his pride.
And hired a guide.
But the guide sucked,
Rusty thought, god I just got f**-d!
What will do?
I just got screwed!
While looking at the net for things lewd...
Rusty found MuskieFIRST and just about came unglued.
Who cares if I never catch a 'lunge?
I just found some crazy hilarious dude named SPONGE!
Slamr
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Posts: 536
Location: Brainerd Area | there was an old man named rusty
who had never landed a musky
so he swallowed his pride
and hired a guide
whos lures were old and crusty
the guides name was duck
and his boat realy sucked
we threw bucktails and cranks
and gliders that sank
with the sun shinning hi
and a gleam in his eye
a muskynuts dream
is making him scream
after the fight
and a hole bunch of jumps
the monsters in the net
for those two musky chumps
with a pic and a pose
and a release there she goes
rustys first musky
was long, meen and husky
happy hunting
duck
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Posts: 188
Location: Madison, WI | There was an old gezzer named Rusty. Who had never landed a Muskie. So he swallowed his pride. And hired a guide. But ended up drunk at Ms. Busty’s.
Rusty puked from the bar to the landing
The guide thought his truck would need sanding Rusty knew right away Before leaving First Bay That his chumming was going to be outstanding
When Rusty finally got to his feet
His casts were far from complete The guide finally said “Just clean up instead” “You’re ripening up in this heat”
Rusty now continued his junket
But now with a mop and a bucket The guide said while huffin’ “You’re no good for nothin’” Rusty said “HEY… I’m the man from Nantucket”
The rest of tale you know all too well
And if I repeat it I’ll surely catch hell With muskies, a zero With women, a hero Rusty will always be known as “swell”
Edited by Craig Eversoll 2/8/2003 11:49 PM
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Posts: 1536
Location: God's Country......USA..... Western Wisconsin | There was an old geezer named Rusty
Who had never landed a Muskie
So he swallowed his pride and hired a guide
Whose look was was dark and dusky
This guide was no winner
And threw a large spinner
again and again at a stump
Said Rusty our man
I must go to the can
Please don't peak at my bare naked rump.
But the guide he did look
Laughed so hard he just shook
as he stared at Rusty's big a$$
The guide was then heard
To exclaim, what a big turd
and I thought all you had was gas
As Rusty dumped and he farted
the fishing had started
and now here is the really big scoop
Rusty came on the run
not to miss all the fun
and on his shoe was a big piece of poop
Our Rusty I think
has raised a big stink
as he left a rather large load
The guide said oh dear
Rusty would only sneer
and say, there, that's one for the road.
The guide said to Rusty
Your rump is all crusty
Please do, get out of my boat
Rusty said, that makes me happy
Your boat is just crappy
Good Bye and thats all she wrote. |
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Posts: 188
Location: Madison, WI | What I meant to say was... There was an old gezzer named Rusty.
Who had never landed a Muskie.
So he swallowed his pride.
And hired a guide.
Said Rusty "In heaven I must be" Where to fish neither man could agree
A wrong turn clear cross some big sea
Near a Peruvian Bar
Rusty's bit by a Gargar
And asked SpongeBob "What should they give me?" But Ol' Sponge knew none of the cures
So he turned to his friends with the lures
and as only Sponge could
(often misunderstood)
Asked for advice, specifically yours But straight answers were less than forthcoming
That left SpongeBob blue and bumming
Cause Rusty now's dead
From that Peruvian dread
A Gargar with poisonous plumbing So a lesson here should be learned
'Bout a guy and the muskies he yearned
Peruvia's no place
To give muskies a chase
As for my welfare... you SHOULD be concerned
Edited by Craig Eversoll 2/9/2003 12:16 PM
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Posts: 2361
| Geez!!
Throw rythm into the sewer if you want. I'll bet none of yawl can dance a lick either.
My shot at fame...
There was an old geezer named Rusty,
Who had never landed a musky,
So he swallowed his pride,
and hired a guide,
who's lures were tried, true, and trusty.
They set off late that night in a boat,
Throwing big ugly things that could float,
But the wind did come up,
And the fish did not sup,
and at shore, a large check, Rusty wrote.
So what is the meat of this tale,
When your dreams and your longings set sail,
and you're left on dry land,
no trophy in hand,
as your bait slowly rots in your pail?
Well the moral is simple to see,
those big fish do not come easily,
you can make up a plan
and go pay the man,
but your cash gives you no guarantee.;)
Edited by firstsixfeet 2/9/2003 4:45 PM
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| There was an old gezzer named Rusty,
who had never landed a musky.
He swallowed his pride,
and hired a guide, and when his wife found out, he tried to hide!
He let go the phone, and ran toward the door,
but a shot to his knees put him down on the floor!
He rolled down the steps, screaming in pain,
she dove on top of him, grabbing his mane.
She jerked his head back, and stared in his eyes,
she screamed "tell the truth, NO MORE LIES!"
He collapsed in her arms, sobbing and tired,
his lower legs now nubs, from the shot she had fired....
Soon she realized, just what she'd done, and tried to tell him "it was all in fun!"
He pretended to pass out and closed his eyes,
reaching up on the table, he grabbed some hot fries.
Out shot his nubs, and knocking her back,
he threw a roundhouse, her jaw it did crack!
He then jammed the french fries, down deep in her throat,
she flopped on the floor like a gut shot goat.
It didn't take long for the police to arrive,
they winked at each other, just glad to be ALIVE!!!
It took them awhile,
to get back on their feet,
when they discussed what had happened,
they agreed it was neat!
Sad thing is, this story is true...
if it happened to me, it could happen to YOU!!!:O
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Posts: 188
Location: Madison, WI | 1st6Ft: Careful... dis a muskie man's poetry and, as they say in Hurley, you're standing on ice dat ain't so tick dare ya know hey. Sponger: I was trying to find a way to work "gut shot goat" into my post but just couldn't make it work. Thanks for making my dream come true. I can die now. Q: Who is the official poet laureat for MuskieFirst? Or is that classified information... you know a national security thing? |
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| It's spelled eh, not hey, you furner you!
And are you tawkin about dose guys, use guys, or us guys? |
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Posts: 188
Location: Madison, WI | I was using the western Hurley dialect. And I was referring to dem guys. Dare once was man from dat Hurley town Who never saw a drink dat he couldn't put down One night he got hammered And got up and stammered ________________________ (Here we go again)
Edited by Craig Eversoll 2/9/2003 10:25 PM
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Posts: 32958
Location: Rhinelander, Wisconsin | There was an old gezzer named Rusty.
Who had SOMETIMES landed a Muskie.
So he swallowed his pride.
And hired a guide,
who turned out to be a bit crusty.
Rusty could abide
by a crusty old guide
as long as he landed his muskie.
They went out on the water,
looking to slaughter a Cass Lake legend
the locals called Monster Mc Kluskie.
He hooked the big fish on a prayer and a whim,
and into the net it did swim!
Rusty grabbed at the hook, without the proper look, and ended up firmly
hooked to Mc Klusie.
Mcklusky was released with great pity, (the stupid fish had no tail. What is WITH that??)
and Crusty Took Rusty to the City
To the hospital they rode, Rusty carrying the load,
Of a 5/0 and yet was still witty...
The hook was so buried
his hand was so harried
it swelled 'till he had a GREAT finger
he found when the doc yanked, and the nuses aid cranked,
that he was not only an angler
but a SINGER!!
This one's for Mark...
Enjoy the plaque, my friend.
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Posts: 536
Location: Brainerd Area | dare once was a man from dat hurley town
who never saw a drink dat he couldnt put down
one night he got hammerd
and got up and stammerd
down to the circus and punched dat old clown
now dat clown did not take kindly
to dat punch dat was blinding
so he socked dat man back
and turned his eye black
now dat fight was a go'in
as people watched for da show'in
wow dat fight lasted long
maby three or four song
then the clown called time out
and looked all about
said why are we fighting
all this kicking and biting
the man said, dont know
but it was one hell of a show
now dat man and dat clown
headed back up town
a toast to a friend
as they started drinking again
dat man got so drunk
and the clown called him a punk
then took his beer glass
busted it over his a$$
now dats what you git
when you punch and you spit
you hurley town man
kick your a$$, yes i can
happy hunting
duck |
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Posts: 364
Location: in the white boat | There was an old geezer named Rusty
Who had never landed a Muskie
So he swallowed his pride and hired a guide
And they met at the boat ramp at dusk, eh?
They fished all through the night
Without getting a bite
The guide was amiss with a client such as this
Rusty's curse had such power and might
They worked into the next day
But the fish stayed at bay
This is hard work, said Rusty with a smirk
As he took a knee and gobbled a Payday
Old guide was worn out
And riddled with doubt
He began to pack, and rubbed his back
He muttered "geez, not even an eelpout"
"Rusty your luck is the worst
No question you are badly cursed
I hope I can recover, and someday catch another
But you should spend your time on WalleyesFIRST!"
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