|
|
| I am the girlfriend (or soon to be ex)of a musky maniac. Here is the typical week...Monday/Wednesday - work, then fish until 2am. Tuesday/Thursday - work, check net, settle on couch for the night (sleep). Weekend fishing ocassionally, although more frequent in the coming months. (**note**He has no boat and is at the mercy of friends.) This doesn't include obligations to the club(s), something he is heavily involved with. Not to mention we have never taken a non-fishing vacation in the four years we have been together. I would never ask him to stop fishing...but is it wrong to ask him to scale it back so his quality time can be shared?
...signed, musky widow |
|
| |
|
| Go for it. You should be able to spend quality time with him. But if you haven't asked him to do it in the past four years, he may not be really open to the suggestion. Especially since he's at the mercy of his friends. Be realistic and don't make it an ultimatum. It's in his blood and nothing will change that. If my girlfriend of 3 years said something like that in an ultimatum to me, I hate to say it, but I've grown up in the outdoors all my life and she wouldn't like the choice I would have to make.
Maybe since he doesn't have a boat, you can buy him one and then put restrictions on when he can use it? [:bigsmile:]
Tim |
|
| |
|
| Yep, he has it REAL bad! (The muskie bug.)
Yes, he should be willing to make room in his schedule for some time for you, and you need to sit him down and discuss this with him if you are serious about this guy. At the same time, not sure how you feel about fishing (especially for muskies), but why don't you ask to accompany him a couple of times? This may make him feel that you're interested in something that is obviously very important to him... AND you might just find that you like it too. (Plus, you'll win HUGE brownie points for showing the interest.) Surely in 4 years he could at least manage a long weekend with you somewhere without a fishing rod. This is where you need to talk.
If you demand he make a choice, I think you know which way this thing will turn out.
Good luck!
Steve Wickens |
|
| |
|
| Is that you Andrea?[:0]
If it is you, then I don't think you should ask him to scale it back.
If it isn't you, then I think you have all the right in the world to ask him to scale it back. Start booking dates with him in advance, so he knows he has to schedule around that. If he starts blowing off the dates, then I think you know where his priorities are. Just let him know how you feel. If you don't say anything, then he won't think anything is wrong. |
|
| |
|
| Musky widow should make a few clarifications...we have lived together for those four years, I spent a week at Nippising and loved it but am not and will never be a die hard fisherman, I have been involved in his club, help prepare for every trip and have musky lures displayed throughout the house. He is an excellent fisherman and has been for many years preceeding me (but fishing the streams, his first love, was a completely different story - and schedule). Getting a boat, however, seems like a very nice compromise - I do love the water!
Keep the responses coming - I'm on a mission here! |
|
| |
|
| Men sometimes do not even realize they are not operating within 'reasonable limits' in a relationship balancing fishing/hunting with time for the lady in their life.
Gently let him know you miss time with him, and are not asking/demanding he quit fishing, only that the time you spend together increase.
Offer to do things together you are sure you both would enjoy, and look at the time during the day wasted doing absolutely nothing, and create something fun to do. A rented Muskie Video, popcorn, and then a REAL movie, that sort of thing.
Good Luck!! |
|
| |
|
| Welcome aboard Muskywidow - Please stick around with us and you may find some friends here. There have been some heated discussions on the Musky Central board on this topic that you may find of interest. The key word is balance. Musky fishing is an addiction which can be taken to extremes. My son is addicted to internet games, my ex boyfriend was addicted to musky fishing and hunting (which was where I caught the fever). Yours is NOT an easy task but you sound determined to find a compromise and make this work before it's to late. There aren't any easy answers. I liked the buy a boat suggestion also. I find it interesting that you came to this board instead of a womens support board or something. How about developing a hobby that might help keep him home like canoe building or try raising muskys in a fish tank. You could start something then ask for his help and as he becomes more involved helping you, might develop a new interest himself. Sounds like rather than trying to change his mind, you may have to take the initiative to do something on your own then try to involve him. Just a thought.
May they always bite at the mouth.[:sun:] |
|
| |
|
| It sounds like you have a perfectly normal relationship. What are you complaining about? Perhaps you should look within for happiness. There is far worse a man can be doing to you. If the bum brings home a check, what else can you ask for? Try knitting. |
|
| |
|
| I recently have been having the same problem with my girlfriend. I was willing to compromise, (but I'd rather not have admitted that), and so has she. Before, she refused to fish with me, she hated it because I spent so much time doing it. But she has started going with me more, which gives me more time on the water, and I have started to do more things with her. She loves to hike, so we go hiking around streams that I want to check out, I leave the pole at home on these trips, but it still gives me a chance to look at some spots when I didn't have the time before. Also, my newest obsession is lure building, and she's an artsy type, so she's painting the baits I make because I have no artistic ability. Also, with this compromise, we decided to start looking for a nicer boat, so she can go with me comfortably and read or whatever. I think we've found a happy medium. |
|
| |
|
| Mission Impossible my dear widow......shave your head + dive head first into this relationship! Throw your entire being into this person that has wrought intrigue yet such diverse agony into your life....become one w/ him + he w/ you! My wife faced similar circumstances but now we play "fishing games"; I am the TAXIDERMIST + she the fish....anyway good luck as I'm the last one to be giving relationship advice! Be happy you live "up there"... down here we have alot of black widows [:sun:] |
|
| |
