| 70 above
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear
People in Michigan go swimming in the Lakes
60 above
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat
People in Michigan plant gardens
50 above
Californians shiver uncontrollably
People in Michigan sunbathe
40 above
Italian & English cars won't start
People in Michigan drive with the windows down
32 above
Distilled water freezes
Lake Superior's water gets thicker
20 above
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt
15 above
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold
0
People in Miami all die
Michiganders lick the flagpole
20 below
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in Michigan get out their winter coats
40 below
Hollywood disintegrates
The Girl Scouts In Michigan are selling cookies door to door
60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic
Michigan Boy Scouts postpone the "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough
80 below
Mt. St. Helens Freezes
People in Michigan rent some movies
100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Michiganders get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg
297 below
Microbial life no longer survives on diary products
Cows in Michigan complain about farmers with cold hands
460 below
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale)
People in Michigan start saying, "Cold `nuff for ya?"
500 below
Hell freezes over
The Lions win the Super Bowl!!!
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