|
|
| If you got bit by a Peruvian Gargar monkey, what type of medicine would they give you? |
|
| |
|
Posts: 938
Location: NeverNever Lake | Clozapine and Placebo combo. Whatever you do, do not spank that monkey!
Edited by RAZE1 2/9/2003 10:45 AM
|
|
| |
|
Posts: 1916
Location: Greenfield, WI | The question may well be, "what kind of medicine are they going to give the monkey!!!"
What was that monkey thinking of? It doesn't know where you have been? |
|
| |
|
Posts: 32958
Location: Rhinelander, Wisconsin | I would probably shoot the monkey. Then I would die, I suppose. No idea. |
|
| |
|
Posts: 188
Location: Madison, WI | Peruvian Gargar anti-venom would be my guess... at least that's what I bought for my upcoming trip to Peruvia. I go there mostly for the hand crafted tupperware but I must admit the Gargar fillets are hard to beat (or was that "eat"?). What do I win? |
|
| |
|
Posts: 259
| First you must eat the monkey and then send the head to the state to see if it is rabid. Everybody knows that! |
|
| |
|
Posts: 2091
Location: Stevens Point, WI | More than likely we would put you on a broad spectrum antibiotic like Augmentin orally and we would give you a IM injection of Rocephin or Ancef. |
|
| |
|
Posts: 2754
Location: Mauston, Wisconsin | Sponge- For goodness sakes, don't listen to these prescription's for chemical wizardry. Through one of my many wordwide contacts, I have consulted with a leading Puruvian witchdoctor. He emphatically rejects all of the above recommendations. The Gargar's toxin causes wild pschotic behavior. Some victim's have even imagined they were living in the sea w/ crabs, seahorse's, etc.
It seems there is only one known antidote for the Peruvian Gargar's toxic bite. That is a judicious application of ESOX masquinongy mucous to the wound site at least once every 24 hours for 5 days. He didn't actually say ESOX masquinongy, but rather in Puruvian "big #$%@*& fish with teeth that lives in the land of the North." But my friend/interpreter did get him to draw a picture of the creature and it was definitely an ESOX masquinongy. Keep in mind they were partaking of some other magical jungle elixer while the discussions of your treatment were being carried out. The witchdoctor did also say that in order to obtain a full curative effect, it is vitally important that this treatment must continue uninterrupted for at least 5 days. If the treatment is interrupted for any reason you must begin another cycle.
The only real catch 22 is that this wonderful healing substance can only come from a wild living specimen. He also said that the best treatment was to use fresh mucous from a different specimen of ESOX Masquinongy every day. Be very careful as he said the healing powers of the mucous are negated if the donor creature is not carefully released back into it's wild environment after each a application-sorry you just can't store some in a jar.
If you don't have immediate access to a source of fresh ESOX masquinongy mucous, just before they passed out(to much jungle juice), he did say that you could temporarily halt the progress of the toxin by surrounding your self with images of ESOX masquinongy. Please let me know how the treatment is progressing.
Al Warner
www.welcometothechumbucket.com
Edited by ESOX Maniac 2/9/2003 4:02 PM
|
|
| |
|
Posts: 259
Location: Madison, WI | Sponge,
One must spend time with the Dali Lama in order to find the deepest measure of healing. But, for starters, I would suggest daily incantations of Tibetan mantas in the presence of incense. Otherwise, just ask Paul Peck. His wisdom must guide you to the path of holistic wellness.
"Jackpot" John Schroeder |
|
| |
|
Posts: 188
Location: Madison, WI | You folks are all off base here... Al Gore invented the cure for a Peruvian Gargar bite and he won't tell anyone until he is named President. |
|
| |
|
Posts: 1536
Location: God's Country......USA..... Western Wisconsin | No well known cure is actually available at this time. The best that you can hope for is to slow the spread of the disease caused by the bite. What this means is no sexual activety whatsoever. Even by accident, if you know what I mean. However in lieu of staying awake 24 hours a day for the rest of your life to prevent any thing like this from happening. You can, I am told, partake of as many Paydays and Coca Colas as you can hold. The more the better, the medicinal effect of this combo is well documented. I certanly hope that this bit of wisdom helps. I would hate to think that you would use all of these other "fake" cures when the one true toxin remover has been under your nose all along. |
|
| |
|
Posts: 32958
Location: Rhinelander, Wisconsin | craig E,
Now I KNOW I am going to die...:) |
|
| |
|
Posts: 188
Location: Madison, WI | What's the matter Steve? Not a big Al Gore fan??? The Sore / Loserman campaign trail didn't make it to Rhinelander? There is one thing he has going for him... he's not Bill, or Hillary, Clinton. OK that's two things he has going for him but that's all I can come with. |
|
| |
|
Posts: 33
| Sponge: Back in my residency, I helped with a patient that was bit in the hand by one of the monkeys in the research lab, and all I can remember is that he almost lost his hand due to the nasty bugs that took off in that wound. Don't know the specifics of your species, but that's an operative problem for sure, as well as an infectious disease consult. You don't want that to happen. Mark |
|
| |
