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Posts: 1769
Location: Algonquin, ILL | DARWIN AWARDS
The
Darwin’s are awarded every year to the persons who died (or almost died)
in the stupidest way. Named Darwin Awards because it is hoped that
”Survival of the Fittest” means something. Hopefully these idiots haven’t
passed along their stupidity.
This year’s nominees are:
Nominee No. 1:
[San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club
to break a former girlfriend’s windshield, accidentally shot himself to
death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2:
[Kalamazoo Gazette]: James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, Mich., was
killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a
”farm type truck.” Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway
while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a
troubling noise. Burns’ clothes caught on something, however, and the
other man found Burns “wrapped in the drive shaft.”
Nominee No. 3:
[Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself
to death in December in Newton, NC, awakening to the sound of a ringing
telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a
Smith &Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
Nominee No. 4:
[UPI, Toronto]: Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows
in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder
and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy,
39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early
Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building’s
windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted
demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter
Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto
Sun newspaper that Hoy was “one of the best and brightest” members of the
200-man association.
Nominee No. 5:
[Bloomberg News Service]: A terrible diet and room with no ventilation
are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas.
There was no mark on his body and an autopsy showed large amounts of
methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and
cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination
of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the
poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had
his windows been opened, it wouldn’t have been fatal. But the man was
shut up in his near airtight bedroom. According to the article, “He was a
big man with a huge capacity for creating “this deadly gas.” Three of the
rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.
Nominee No. 6:
[The News of the Weird]: Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird
posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina’s
electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced
to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting
to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 7:
[The Indianapolis Star]: A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal
explosion in Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter
to check the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed Monday night when the
weapon discharged in his face, sheriff’s investigators said. Gregory
David Pryor, 19, died in his parents’ rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 PM.
Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle loader that had
not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the
barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 8:
[Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]: A man cleaning a bird feeder on the
balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and
fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheeled
chair when the accident occurred, said Inspector D’Arcy Honer of the
Peel Regional Police. “It appears the chair moved and he went over the
balcony,” Honer said.
Finally, Nominee No. 9, The Winner!!!:
[Arkansas Democrat Gazette]: Two local men were injured when their pickup
truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway
38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the
accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc
and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock were returning to Des Arc after
a frog gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole’s pickup truck
headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse
on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit
perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon
inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly and
the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After
traveling approximately twenty miles and just before crossing the river,
the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the
right testicle.
The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement and striking a
tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident,
but will require surgery to repair the testicle. Wallis sustained a
broken clavicle and was treated and released. “Thank God we weren’t on
that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off or we might both be dead”
stated Wallis. “I’ve been a trooper for ten years in this part of the
world, but this is a first for me. I can’t believe that those two would
admit how this accident happened,” said Snyder. Upon being notified of
the wreck, Lavinia (Poole’s wife) asked how many frogs the boys had
caught and did anyone get them from the truck
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Posts: 466
Location: Pittsburgh, PA | heres one for you...i dont have the article but it was in a local paper here. a guy was using a steak knife to tighten a screw on his baby's crib, he slipped and it cut his throat and he died. | |
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Posts: 3518
Location: north central wisconsin | LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Thanks John, I needed that !!! I'm sitting here feeling pretty daggone intelligent right about now...:O | |
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Posts: 5874
| I nominate Sponge. Had sent down a stick of Eden Meat Market Garlic Vennie Sausage just for him , with the Extreme one, BigO, and Jason, and he didn't get it out of the boat! | |
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| Daggone dude!!! What happened to it??? I never saw the delicacy! Bummer maximus...you can give it to me when you come down this coming spring?  | |
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2003 Darwin Awards