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| How many of you have been stuck in this position? How many marriages have ended because of musky fishing? how many have been forced to decide between the wife and musky fishing up north or in Canada? |
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Location: oconomowoc, wi | my wife outfishes me some years.. i got lucky! |
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Location: On the Niagara River in Buffalo, NY | My wife had put up with me guiding and being away from home sometimes 5 months in a row at Chautauqua Lake and 3 more months in row in Guyana S.A..This year I moved operations back closer to home on the Niagara River and home every night,but wait till she finds out that Guyana S.A. will include October,January,Febuary,March & April for 2015.But then again she has been allowing me to fish like this since 1977,so I have to say my wife is assume! |
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Posts: 1220
| You either have a wife who is a whole heckava lot more important to preserve than any darn hobby ( I do) or you don't. Decide which of those two you fit into and then act accordingly. |
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Posts: 1038
| My wife loves to fish. Walleyes, muskies, bass, crappies...etc. She just loves being in the boat. And she catches her fair share of muskies. Totally love that about her. She had never made a cast before she met me, but she sure picked things up quickly. |
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Location: North Central PA | Junkman - 5/8/2014 8:38 AM
You either have a wife who is a whole heckava lot more important to preserve than any darn hobby ( I do) or you don't. Decide which of those two you fit into and then act accordingly.
X2 It's all about priorities in life! |
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Posts: 218
| If you have asked this question, it is time for some counseling if you want to keep the marriage. Fishing or any hobby is replaceable if one really values the marriage. |
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| Fishing spots and women come and go |
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Location: minocqua, wi. | it was part of it … expensive divorce and worth every penny. |
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| better in a boat then a bar.. my wife fishes and works beside me making baits.
clean socks good food what else can I ask for.
find the right girl
Edited by woodieb8 5/8/2014 9:14 AM
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| NO WIFE HAPPY LIFE |
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Posts: 697
Location: Minnetonka | "Live and let fish." |
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Location: MN | Men marry women hoping they will never change but most women do. Women marry men hoping they can change them but most men don't. Make sure she knows there is no changing your habits/hobbies before you tie the knot.
I have had a couple girls who did not make it through hunting season. Now I have a musky addiction that is probably worse and takes up more time. I'm gonna need a helluva tolerant woman...if such a thing exists. |
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Posts: 20245
Location: oswego, il | I could count on one hand the amount of times I fished when I was married. It was never a point of contention as I never had the time. I even sold my boat that I had before I met her because I never had a chance to use it. It did not end because of that. She found my breathing annoying, I could not figure out what the big deal was but she wanted me to stop. |
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Location: Smith Creek | You need to work on trust. Then and only then will you be able to fish AND have a satisfying sex life.
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| I practice catch and release with muskies and women.
It works out pretty well ... most of the time! The muskies love being released, the women not so much sometimes 
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Posts: 1202
Location: Money, PA | It was in the prenuptial....I'm a fisherman, take it or leave it....first one left it...BYE...They are all welcome to join in or simply live with it. Current wife is cool and understanding...she loves to fish and gets involved when she feels like it. Once the boys get old enough, we will be gone alot; so she had better either find a hobby or Get In, Sit Down & STFU! |
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| I had fishing mentioned in our wedding vows. The pastor read it in front of everyone...so far so good. |
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Location: South-Central VA | KSauers - 5/8/2014 9:03 AM
How many of you have been stuck in this position? How many marriages have ended because of musky fishing? how many have been forced to decide between the wife and musky fishing up north or in Canada?
Dude, you're coming at this from the wrong perspective. Why does it have to be either / or?
If a hobby costs someone a marriage, their priorities are certainly in the wrong place. If someone is that selfish, they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Be a husband/father- don't stop dating your wife, help out around the house, spend quality time with her and the kids. Invest in your marriage!
I'm far from the worlds best husband but I do my part around the house and I spend a lot of time with my kids. My wife is very supportive of my hunting / fishing / rod building and she has NEVER said no to a hunting / fishing trip for me- she's never even given me a hard time about all the time I spend hunting and fishing. I'm one very fortunate man.
jeremy
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Posts: 697
Location: Minnetonka | I prefer to walk the fine line that runs between muskie nut and family man, and I commend those that choose one extreme or the other. Nobody is doing it wrong, as long as you're being true to yourself. |
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Location: Lake "y" cause lake"x" got over fished | fishhawk50 - 5/8/2014 8:18 AM
my wife outfishes me some years.. i got lucky!
My wife out fishes me 9 out of 10 times. I am yet another lucky one |
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Location: Duluth, MN | Life is way too short to live it trying to make someone else happy. Either there is compromise that is acceptable to both sides or there isn't. The choice after that is easy. |
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| Got into Musky fishing with my first fish in 1976 (42.5) and dove in head first, boat, equipment and two to three weekends per month in the Minouqua area. Ducked out and stayed out during the late 80's and 90's and a little more including selling the boat. What happened? My second marriage and a second pair of children happened. I had told wife #1 if she didn't like my fishing, hunting and long work hours, I'd be happy to hold the door for her while she cleared out. She quickly left. When the second set of kids came along, I (quite thankfully) saw the light. I wanted those kids and today, that means having to be a father...not just a biological sire. So, I put fishing on hold. I dragged the kids to ballet, gymnastics, and soccer. (Still don't know how the heck soccer works....keep looking for a quarterback) Than, thankfully baseball came along for both and I was my son's Little League coach and was asked my my daughter's varsity softball coach to manage the girls all summer when WIAA rules require the real coach to stay away. I raised those kids and I was PRESENT even though I obviously learned the hard way. Now, the kids are beyond college and I am fishing plenty hard again. What is really important in life? It's family that is important and that means two parents doing it if none is dead. I am into musky fishing as much as anybody on this board, but compared to my family it dosen't mean crap! |
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Posts: 182
| My wife/family come first. No matter what. She has seen me through some dark times. She loves to be in the boat, fishing she said she could take it or leave it. As for me leaving town to fish for the weekend or for a week where ever, she is happy that I can get away. If there is a family event we are always there together. We have been together for 34 years. It is hard to believe it has been that long. |
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Posts: 2058
| fellow addicts ...calculate what you've spent in the last 10 years... boats, trucks, fuel, baits, lodging, rods, reels, replicas on and on + your time!... Takes a good women to put up with a serious Muskie guy |
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Location: Money, PA | bowhunter29 - 5/8/2014 11:24 AM
KSauers - 5/8/2014 9:03 AM
How many of you have been stuck in this position? How many marriages have ended because of musky fishing? how many have been forced to decide between the wife and musky fishing up north or in Canada?
Dude, you're coming at this from the wrong perspective. Why does it have to be either / or?
If a hobby costs someone a marriage, their priorities are certainly in the wrong place. If someone is that selfish, they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Be a husband/father- don't stop dating your wife, help out around the house, spend quality time with her and the kids. Invest in your marriage!
I'm far from the worlds best husband but I do my part around the house and I spend a lot of time with my kids. My wife is very supportive of my hunting / fishing / rod building and she has NEVER said no to a hunting / fishing trip for me- she's never even given me a hard time about all the time I spend hunting and fishing. I'm one very fortunate man.
jeremy
On a more serious note...very well said! |
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Location: Northern Illinois | I've only been married for a little over 3 years. However, my wife does get mad at me from time to time on saving money and not spending so much on musky fishing. She always tells me, "how are we going to afford a dream cabin on a great musky lake?" That's always a great way to get me to slow down. She loves to fish and but doesn't always want to which I'm fine with. I'm happy if she's on the lake with me and I'm happy when she's not. Sometimes it is good to get away from each other every now and again! |
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Posts: 470
Location: Blaine, MN | Got the go ahead a few years ago to buy my dream boat, the "One" I had saved years for. Gave my wife a kiss as I was leaving to finalize the deal and I watched her struggle to put our 2 girls into the back seat of her 2 door Grand Am... After 2 days at the cabin (Brainerd) searching, I came home with a boat that was 1/5 of what I was going to spend being towed by her new Jeep Grand Cherokee (Her "Eleanor" since she quit her Chrysler job)... Not the same situation but just my perspective...I love to Fish/Hunt/Play ball, but making the girls happy is a priority in my life too, I would be lost without them.... Funny thing is 2 weeks ago I hear "I really like the new Tahoe's." That's not happening. |
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| My wife picked out our Ranger.
Count me as a lucky one too.
My wife is constantly dreaming about how we can either have careers in Vilas County, or how we can save to retire there early.
Again, count me as lucky. |
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Posts: 98
| Been married for 7 years now and this was one of the hardest pills to swallow, especially once the kids came. But like others said, you gotta know your priorities and think big picture. The muskies will still be there in a few years, they're not packing up and moving away! My compromise is to take quality trips over the quantity of trips and when I get to go, fish my ass off! |
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Location: oconomowoc, wi | vegas492 - 5/8/2014 1:30 PM
My wife picked out our Ranger.
Count me as a lucky one too.
My wife is constantly dreaming about how we can either have careers in Vilas County, or how we can save to retire there early.
Again, count me as lucky.
ummm.. your wife's name wouldn't happen to be Deb would it? that is describing my wife to a T! |
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| Bondy - 5/8/2014 10:32 AM
I had fishing mentioned in our wedding vows. The pastor read it in front of everyone...so far so good.
That's awesome!!! |
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Posts: 158
| Muskies were mentioned several times in our vows. I remember because it was five days ago.
Our pre-martial counselor was very clear in explaining to my then fiance' that I am what I am and my paterns aren't going to change once we are married. I was thinking about reaching accross the desk and fist bumping the counselor but decided against it. |
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| I do find it odd that many claim to not change and stay who they are, I would think people would want to grow and continually strive to be a better person. Weird to see growth viewed as not being "true to yourself".... |
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Location: Grand Forks ND | teddy b - 5/8/2014 4:14 PM
Muskies were mentioned several times in our vows. I remember because it was five days ago.
Our pre-martial counselor was very clear in explaining to my then fiance' that I am what I am and my paterns aren't going to change once we are married. I was thinking about reaching accross the desk and fist bumping the counselor but decided against it.
Just remember that it is a two-way street and your wife should be afforded the same. |
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Location: oswego, il | Did anybody figure eight their wife and then kiss her at the end? Now that would be cool. |
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Location: oconomowoc, wi | ToddM - 5/8/2014 4:27 PM
Did anybody figure eight their wife and then kiss her at the end? Now that would be cool.
tried that.. threw my back out!  |
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Location: Chisholm, MN | Sounds like it all worked out for some of you! I'll keep looking then.... |
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Location: Minnesota | back when I was much younger I was dating a younger lady I was 26 she was 19. started dating in Jan, things were great till sept. I came home she asked what we were doing this weekend? I told a friend and I were going grouse hunting.that was it she had nothing to do with me because I was a hunter.Fishing is the same . Im still not married some times I wish I was. there is more to life then hunting and fishing . some day ill find that right lady . |
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Posts: 299
| Bottom line is its all about balance. There's WAY more to life than muskies/fishing!! Been married 13 years and 2 kids and got the itch for fishing early but learned to balance when married. My wife does not like to fish but we spend more time on the Ranger as a family than my fishing time. I got the itch/obsession bad just like any other sportsman and it started to cause issues fast! I learned to balance it all out and accept everything comes before fishing. I sure know my wife or most wives don't have a hobby that can keep you away for 8-14 hours in 1 day! You just have to accept that you'll be a average fisherman and do the best you can with limited time on the water. We've all heard it... Nothing replaces time on the water! You can't compete with the "best of the best" or be "dialed in" all the time if your not on the water daily/every couple days. I love fishing. It's in my blood but I've found that same feeling playing with my kids or quality time with the wife. I know guys, guides and outdoor junkies who are some of the best anglers I've seen but they have nothing, absolutely nothing else in life but catching big fish. Some may be built that way, to be alone in life but that certainly isn't the life for me. I'm just as passionate about fishing now as I was back in the day but choose my days wisely and accept I'll have tough days not being on the water like I used to. What's cool is my kids are now old enough to join me and they love the water, boat and fishing. I'd rather put them on bass or gills with a worm for a few hours than chase Muskie or Tarpon. That's when angling gets really fun!! Bottom line is either find the right woman who will put up with your fish addictions and let her do what she wants on her own time or find a balance if you want a family and serious fishing. From my view... There's WAY more to life than fishing!! There's also WAY more in angling than Muskie!! |
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| The old saying goes" fishing ruins many a good marrige but marraige ruins many more good fisherman" |
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| Well lets see 3 marriages. 1st wife the only pole she had a hold of was the pole she danced around in a barroom, no fishing from this one, she did make a lot of cash though. 2nd wife not coordinated, or liked fishing. 3rd wife AWESOME ! Hard worker, excellent career, wonderful woman, and has caught over a dozen 6 lb. plus Smallmouth Bass, numerous Pike, Walleye and 1 Musky. Good with a bait caster too, can undo a birds nest herself. Not only a great wife for last 20 years but a great fishing partner too. I feel so fortunate to have her ! |
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Posts: 300
| I'm very blessed with a wife that is just as, if not more, of a diehard as I am. She loves to go to the shows, and see all the new crap. She said she even wants to get me a new Terrova with Ipilot for my birthday. It is so nice to have an awesome wife, and a great fishing partner! |
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Location: The desert | Detroithardcore nails it. |
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Location: one foot over the line | I love you just the way you are, now change. |
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Location: Land of the Musky | My wife better like my hobby. Pays for the house and helped keep here home for the first 8 years of our kids lives. AND bless her heart, she is a work horse for TI and I could never do it without my partnership with her. She is the reason we ship so fast! ha ha |
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Location: Madison, WI | Man, if your wife can't put up with one of your favorite hobbies, there's problems. Women have hobbies, and I love and appreciate my wife's hobbies and everything she does in her spare time. She loves that I musky fish because it can keep me out of her hair haha. But seriously, I never would have gotten into a relationship with someone that would "forbid" me from doing something I love, just like I would never "forbid" her from doing something she loves. Marriage is a partnership about loving everything about each other. (yes, learn to love the good and bad). I love musky fishing, and she knows that and would never stop that. I support her in everything she does, she supports me. Best combo on earth, and that's how marriage should be. |
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Location: Pigeon Forge TN. | Clockwise for right handers and counter clockwise for left handers
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| If you're keeping up with home maintenance and projects, doing your fair share of child-rearing, investing enough in your marriage to maintain mutual love and respect, and earning enough money to support the family AND the hobbies, then you earn the privilege to fish, hunt, etc. If there's not enough time and money to keep all those fires burning, then you cut out the fishing/hunting first, I think. If hobbies are causing conflict, then either you're not meeting the other needs, or your wife has issues that won't even be fixed by cutting the hobbies.
If you're thinking about marrying, you're best off fishing the MOST during your engagement so that she's not surprised once you're actually married. You don't want to make her think she's the center of your world and then be constantly absent once you tie the know - that's really not fair. |
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Location: Blaine, MN | I look at it this way... There wouldn't be any enjoyment in coming home from a week in Canada, or a long weekend fishing to an empty house with no one to share my boring success and fail stories with. nothing to look forward to but work, or the next trip to occupy time/thoughts. |
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| Been married for 25 years. One child out on her own and the other goes to Point. Recently retired after 40 years on the work force. Now the wife says not one penny of retirement savings will be used for fishing. Someone mentioned a counselor,his idea was ,sell my boat,take a quarter of the procedes,take one last fishing trip and then NEVER FISH AGAIN. Great advice. The wife expects me to just easily giv e up something I've done my entire lfe because neither her or the counselor have a clue. Fishing or any other outdoor activity means nothing to them
Edited by KSauers 5/9/2014 9:07 AM
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Location: Franklin, WI | A few years ago my current partner's ex-partner's wife told him that if he went musky fishing that weekend, that would be the end of their marriage.
I got called to substitute for him at the last minute and went to Paul's Pro-Am in Eagle River.
To make a long story short, we took first place, and split $15,000. I went home and gave my wife some 'shopping' money and she never complains about my fishing tournaments any more! In fact, she encourages me to go! |
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Location: central Wisconsin | KSauers - 5/9/2014 9:02 AM
Been married for 25 years. One child out on her own and the other goes to Point. Recently retired after 40 years on the work force. Now the wife says not one penny of retirement savings will be used for fishing. Someone mentioned a counselor,his idea was ,sell my boat,take a quarter of the procedes,take one last fishing trip and then NEVER FISH AGAIN. Great advice. The wife expects me to just easily giv e up something I've done my entire lfe because neither her or the counselor have a clue. Fishing or any other outdoor activity means nothing to them
Is your wife still working? |
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| yes she is. she's younger than I am. |
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Location: New Hope MN | KSauers - 5/9/2014 9:02 AM
Been married for 25 years. One child out on her own and the other goes to Point. Recently retired after 40 years on the work force. Now the wife says not one penny of retirement savings will be used for fishing. Someone mentioned a counselor,his idea was ,sell my boat,take a quarter of the procedes,take one last fishing trip and then NEVER FISH AGAIN. Great advice. The wife expects me to just easily giv e up something I've done my entire lfe because neither her or the counselor have a clue. Fishing or any other outdoor activity means nothing to them
Why is she saying not one penny of the retirement money? Do you have enough saved up for retirement? How about picking up a part time job and using that money to fund fishing? |
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Location: Blaine, MN | KSauers - 5/9/2014 9:02 AM
Been married for 25 years. One child out on her own and the other goes to Point. Recently retired after 40 years on the work force. Now the wife says not one penny of retirement savings will be used for fishing. Someone mentioned a counselor,his idea was ,sell my boat,take a quarter of the procedes,take one last fishing trip and then NEVER FISH AGAIN. Great advice. The wife expects me to just easily giv e up something I've done my entire lfe because neither her or the counselor have a clue. Fishing or any other outdoor activity means nothing to them
This seems exceptionally aggressive and 1 sided.... Retirement is when I plan to catch up on my fishing |
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| dtaijo174 - 5/9/2014 11:24 AM
KSauers - 5/9/2014 9:02 AM
Been married for 25 years. One child out on her own and the other goes to Point. Recently retired after 40 years on the work force. Now the wife says not one penny of retirement savings will be used for fishing. Someone mentioned a counselor,his idea was ,sell my boat,take a quarter of the procedes,take one last fishing trip and then NEVER FISH AGAIN. Great advice. The wife expects me to just easily giv e up something I've done my entire lfe because neither her or the counselor have a clue. Fishing or any other outdoor activity means nothing to them
Why is she saying not one penny of the retirement money? Do you have enough saved up for retirement? How about picking up a part time job and using that money to fund fishing?
I think we have enough. Compared to my peers we have a lot more. Why she says that,because its our retirement money and we don't fish so therefore.......
that was suggested by me but she said anything I wou;ld make would go to bills and we pay our bills now. |
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| short STRIKE - 5/9/2014 11:27 AM
KSauers - 5/9/2014 9:02 AM
Been married for 25 years. One child out on her own and the other goes to Point. Recently retired after 40 years on the work force. Now the wife says not one penny of retirement savings will be used for fishing. Someone mentioned a counselor,his idea was ,sell my boat,take a quarter of the procedes,take one last fishing trip and then NEVER FISH AGAIN. Great advice. The wife expects me to just easily giv e up something I've done my entire lfe because neither her or the counselor have a clue. Fishing or any other outdoor activity means nothing to them
This seems exceptionally aggressive and 1 sided.... Retirement is when I plan to catch up on my fishing
I had looked forward to retirement for years for that very reason but it's turned into just the opposite for her. |
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| KSauers - 5/9/2014 11:55 AM
dtaijo174 - 5/9/2014 11:24 AM
KSauers - 5/9/2014 9:02 AM
Been married for 25 years. One child out on her own and the other goes to Point. Recently retired after 40 years on the work force. Now the wife says not one penny of retirement savings will be used for fishing. Someone mentioned a counselor,his idea was ,sell my boat,take a quarter of the procedes,take one last fishing trip and then NEVER FISH AGAIN. Great advice. The wife expects me to just easily giv e up something I've done my entire lfe because neither her or the counselor have a clue. Fishing or any other outdoor activity means nothing to them
Why is she saying not one penny of the retirement money? Do you have enough saved up for retirement? How about picking up a part time job and using that money to fund fishing?
I think we have enough. Compared to my peers we have a lot more. Why she says that,because its our retirement money and we don't fish so therefore.......
that was suggested by me but she said anything I wou;ld make would go to bills and we pay our bills now.
This seems really extreme! You've worked hard and put your 40 years in. I think both of your retirement time should be doing what you both love in life. That includes fishing for you and whatever she loves to do. Add in what you guys can do together in retirement and life should be good!! I've got a long time till I retire but plan on fishing more than I do now and the wife knows it! This should be the time to celebrate and really start living life!! Good luck with this! I really hope your wife will come to a resolution because if fishing is in your blood and makes you happy then she really can't stop you or you'll be miserable and resent her. Again, all about balance and compromise. Hang in there buddy!! |
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Location: The desert | What exactly is she expecting you to do? Sit around?
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| KSauers - 5/9/2014 9:02 AM
Been married for 25 years. One child out on her own and the other goes to Point. Recently retired after 40 years on the work force. Now the wife says not one penny of retirement savings will be used for fishing. Someone mentioned a counselor,his idea was ,sell my boat,take a quarter of the procedes,take one last fishing trip and then NEVER FISH AGAIN. Great advice. The wife expects me to just easily giv e up something I've done my entire lfe because neither her or the counselor have a clue. Fishing or any other outdoor activity means nothing to them
Who picked the counselor? How did the counselor come up with one quarter of the procedes for a fishing trip and what happens to the other three quarters? I wish you well. That's a tough pill to swallow. |
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Posts: 267
| For me its God, family, work, hobbies. That's my order. If you are thinking about getting married and aren't willing to compromise on fishing time, then don't get married. It's not fair to her, your future kids, or even yourself. IMO, if muskies are that important to you, you've got issues. It's a stinkin' fish for crying out loud. I was like one of the previous posters. I fished a ton early in my life before I was married. When I got married I fished a bit less. Now I have three boys and I fish even less. I'm at baseball and hockey constantly. I miss fishing a lot, but I wouldn't trade the experiences with my family for more fishing. What for, another picture? Bragging rights? Pride? A sparkly boat with high horsepower? Not worth it to me. I'll be out there a lot again before long. |
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| My wife doesn't fish, but loves being in the boat. She will even hit the water with me at 5am, take a nap and if the weather is nice will sunbath on the back deck. Works out great if the fish aren't active I enjoy the view. If the fish are active I tell her to grab the net and still enjoy the view. |
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| Smell_Esox - 5/9/2014 1:41 PM
For me its God, family, work, hobbies. That's my order. If you are thinking about getting married and aren't willing to compromise on fishing time, then don't get married. It's not fair to her, your future kids, or even yourself. IMO, if muskies are that important to you, you've got issues. It's a stinkin' fish for crying out loud. I was like one of the previous posters. I fished a ton early in my life before I was married. When I got married I fished a bit less. Now I have three boys and I fish even less. I'm at baseball and hockey constantly. I miss fishing a lot, but I wouldn't trade the experiences with my family for more fishing. What for, another picture? Bragging rights? Pride? A sparkly boat with high horsepower? Not worth it to me. I'll be out there a lot again before long.
Does not apply to my situation |
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| fishhawk50 - 5/8/2014 2:59 PM
vegas492 - 5/8/2014 1:30 PM
My wife picked out our Ranger.
Count me as a lucky one too.
My wife is constantly dreaming about how we can either have careers in Vilas County, or how we can save to retire there early.
Again, count me as lucky.
ummm.. your wife's name wouldn't happen to be Deb would it? that is describing my wife to a T!
And if I said it was?
Her name is Jen. Probably related to your wife, though. |
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| Corso Mike - 5/9/2014 1:21 PM
KSauers - 5/9/2014 9:02 AM
Been married for 25 years. One child out on her own and the other goes to Point. Recently retired after 40 years on the work force. Now the wife says not one penny of retirement savings will be used for fishing. Someone mentioned a counselor,his idea was ,sell my boat,take a quarter of the procedes,take one last fishing trip and then NEVER FISH AGAIN. Great advice. The wife expects me to just easily giv e up something I've done my entire lfe because neither her or the counselor have a clue. Fishing or any other outdoor activity means nothing to them
Who picked the counselor? How did the counselor come up with one quarter of the procedes for a fishing trip and what happens to the other three quarters? I wish you well. That's a tough pill to swallow.
The counselor was through insurance. Whoever was available. He took how much I typically spend on a mostly guided trip tp Canada. The rest just goes in our bank account. |
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Location: New Hope MN | Start hiding money and get a good lawyer. I'm guessing she has beat you to it. |
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| what about Social Security and YOUR pension (if you have one) those are not retirement savings. I couldn't imagine my wife of 42 years saying anything like no more fishing. I would think that would bring a lot of tension and resentment into the picture.
Edited by Pepper 5/9/2014 1:05 PM
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Location: Smith Creek | If you really want to stay with someone who obviously hates you I would suggest unretiring and working (and fishing) till you die. |
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Location: Hayward, WI | You want me to stop fishing? That sure sounds like something my ex-wife would say.
You have to find a compromise that both of you can live with. I have found that having a set night every week where I can plan on fishing helps. |
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| Flambeauski - 5/9/2014 2:08 PM
If you really want to stay with someone who obviously hates you I would suggest unretiring and working (and fishing) till you die.
After these last couple of days I think I will soon be unretiring and also un marrying I shudder to think what my finances are going to be afterwards |
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| Just hope your judge is an outdoorsman. |
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Location: plant earth | go and enjoy yourself you only live once. I bug the wife all the time about going fishing but I made a commitment to her and my kids they come first. Wouldn't trade them for anything, and I know I m a pain in the butt most of the time she says when you retire you can go fishing everyday and believe me im gonna !!!!! |
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Location: minocqua, wi. | when you begin to compensate for another human being then you've lost, forgotten or never, ever known the meaning of life … togetherness is a noble notion, but there is but one life we're allowed to live and in that life it is perfectly fair to be happy regardless the consequences. |
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Location: Rhinelander, Wisconsin | Sue takes me fishing, helps me clean gills and crappies, and cooks them about half the time.
No drama around here, just enjoying life in the Northwoods.
Except for smoking a Buck last week with her 10 day old new to her Toyota, dead center, BAM!
$7400 in damage. Thank goodness for good insurance. |
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Location: Hastings, mn, 55033 | KSauers - 5/9/2014 2:38 PM
Flambeauski - 5/9/2014 2:08 PM
If you really want to stay with someone who obviously hates you I would suggest unretiring and working (and fishing) till you die.
After these last couple of days I think I will soon be unretiring and also un marrying I shudder to think what my finances are going to be afterwards
You may be surprised. While its certainly not just and equitable in alot(most?) cases, times are changing some. If your kids are raised and gone from home, your wife is working and has worked, you may get a fair settlement. I know of a few guys that have gone through divorces late in life and the judges were far more fair than in cases with younger men/families etc.
In the ones where the wife had also had a career, it was ordered that community assets be liquidated and split 50/50 and both kept their own pensions/retirement plans.
In 2 cases where the wife hadnt worked while raising the kids and had no pension/retirement plan it was ordered that community assets be sold and split evenly, and the wives received a split on the husbands pension etc.
Whatever the cost, its got to beat being miserable!
Some of you need to recognize that compromise is a two way street and that relationships of any kind should be give and take. One person ordering the other to do what they want isnt compromise! One person believing they are allowed to dictate 100% of how the other should live isnt a relationship, its a dictatorship! |
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Location: oconomowoc, wi | vegas492 - 5/9/2014 12:50 PM
fishhawk50 - 5/8/2014 2:59 PM
vegas492 - 5/8/2014 1:30 PM
My wife picked out our Ranger.
Count me as a lucky one too.
My wife is constantly dreaming about how we can either have careers in Vilas County, or how we can save to retire there early.
Again, count me as lucky.
ummm.. your wife's name wouldn't happen to be Deb would it? that is describing my wife to a T!
And if I said it was?
Her name is Jen. Probably related to your wife, though.
my wife's sister's name is Jen... how weird is that huh? |
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Location: West Bend, WI | jonnysled - 5/9/2014 5:04 PM
when you begin to compensate for another human being then you've lost, forgotten or never, ever known the meaning of life … togetherness is a noble notion, but there is but one life we're allowed to live and in that life it is perfectly fair to be happy regardless the consequences.
Couldnt disagree with this more. |
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Location: minocqua, wi. | mrmatt - 5/9/2014 8:52 PM
jonnysled - 5/9/2014 5:04 PM
when you begin to compensate for another human being then you've lost, forgotten or never, ever known the meaning of life … togetherness is a noble notion, but there is but one life we're allowed to live and in that life it is perfectly fair to be happy regardless the consequences.
Couldnt disagree with this more.
live your life miserable and compensate for others and pretend to be happy … get a trophy, a pin and die without a smile or any true happiness. pride is an interesting thing. |
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Location: West Bend, WI | Wow, sorry to disagree with you. I don't think we've ever met, but it seems like you have judgements already made. I may have misunderstood your post, sorry about that. It sounded to me that you were stating it is "fair" to be happy regardless of consequences. That sounds like a justification for selfishness. That is what one of my parents chose. I guess it was "fair", too bad I was one of those consequences. Divorce damages kids, period. Tough to hear, but true. |
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Location: minocqua, wi. | divorce can sometimes be the best thing that ever happened to a kid … kids in a home with parents who compensate and are not happy are not being who they should be to their kids. there are times that divorce gives kids more than they ever had when their parents were unhappily married. |
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Location: West Bend, WI | I have never heard a kid say he was happy his parents got divorced. Parents may want to believe this, but I would caution them. I am 38, my folks got divorced when I was 16. I said at the time I understood and that I was ok with it. Unfortunately, it wasn't until many years later that I finally dealt with it. Sure, sometimes divorce is an only option(infidelity, addiction), but those are not the norm. Most marriages are dissolved because " I am not happy" and that is sad. I am not posting this as judgement on those divorced or considering divorce, rather, as a voice to kids who don't generally speak. There are others involved in the parent's decision so tread carefully when making that choice on something as trivial as fishing. Marriage is tough, I get that. I have been married 14 years. I was a selfish ass for most of our marriage. In the last few years things have been different. I know this may offend some, it is not intended to do that, but turning to the Lord has made a huge difference for us. We are not perfect and please don't take it as that, but just what was is working for us. His will is what is best for us and when you live like that things go better. When you are in a in a marriage not for what you get, but for what you can give that changes things. Our marriage has never been better- not without issues, but never better. It seems like there is never an issue on when I can go or that sort of thing. If she wants to go do something I try to help her go, if I want to fish she helps me go. Things just work better.
Jonnysled, all I am saying is there is another option. |
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Location: minocqua, wi. | you may need to talk to more kids … i've got four that would blow your theory and know there are many, many more who have the same thoughts. it's not what people plan, but the outcome can be very, very good for everyone involved.
there are many options and zero absolutes …
even when leaning on a crutch, it's a crutch … standing on your feet and being happy inside your shoes is a refreshing place to be. |
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Location: The desert | jonnysled - 5/9/2014 9:39 PM
you may need to talk to more kids … i've got four that would blow your theory and know there are many, many more who have the same thoughts. it's not what people plan, but the outcome can be very, very good for everyone involved.
there are many options and zero absolutes …
even when leaning on a crutch, it's a crutch … standing on your feet and being happy inside your shoes is a refreshing place to be.
Couldn't agree more.
My parents divorced at age 10 or so. I didn't see my dad as much, but we became closer because of it. He helped instill the passion I have for the outdoors. I don't think that would have happened had my parents stayed together. My mom is anything but outdoorsy and hated going up north.
Sled is dead on when stating one only lives once and should be happy. If you aren't happy, what is the point? Divorced parents can still both have very positive impacts on their children's lives. Kids can also pick up when parents no longer like each other. I'd argue that's just damaging, if not more so. |
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Location: Lafayette, IN | Just finished a big landscape project for my wife of 29 years. Took 2 days off to work on it. There is something very enjoyable about serving someone you truly love. I'm not a fishing guide but I love to fish. I'm not a professional musician but I love to play music. In my life I've done a lot of both. Nothing will give me the same pleasure of doing things with and for my wife. That hope was in my heart when I asked her to marry me. When I say "I'm thinking about going fishing" or " We might try and book a show" it's prefaced with "What do we have on our calendar?" In our 29 years of marriage I have rarely fished, hunted or played music and come home with a bad feeling. People have already stated it. Simply put... "It's all in what your priorities are." |
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Location: West Bend, WI | I do stand in my own shoes and I am extremely happy. God is not my crutch, sorry you see it that way. He is who I live for. That positively affects all around me. Sorry we disagree. Have a nice day jonnysled. |
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| Sled is right...of course divorce is a last resort but it can be a healthier option for kids involved. My wife's parent have been divorced since she was a kid and she's glad it happened cause she would have been raised in a horrible home with verbal abuse, alcoholism and constant fighting. She says "I would have been more messed up in life if my parents stayed together, it was the best thing for all involved". Unfortunately, her dad was not a role model and our of her life for good but if her parents would have "stuck it out" she would have grown in up a house with no love, a drunk dad, violence and constant yelling/screaming. Thank god her mom was strong enough to end the destructive behavior. As sled said.... Its all about happiness and life is way to short to waste time. She's now thankful for her parents separating for good and was raised by a single mother in a good home. |
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Location: The desert | mrmatt - 5/10/2014 6:21 AM
I do stand in my own shoes and I am extremely happy. God is not my crutch, sorry you see it that way. He is who I live for. That positively affects all around me. Sorry we disagree. Have a nice day jonnysled.
You are completely missing the point. |
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| mrmatt - 5/9/2014 11:27 PM
I have never heard a kid say he was happy his parents got divorced.
Gotta keep piling on to this. Like sled said, you need to talk to more kids. I have three older (half) siblings who can tell you how relieved they were that mom (whom we share) left their biological father. Sure, divorce isn't easy on kids but my sister will go on and on about how relieved and happy they were when they didn't have to watch my mother getting beaten to a bloody pulp every other day. They view this guy as their biological father and that is it. They view my biological father as their "dad."
An ex girlfriend's kids would say the same thing. The divorce on them wasn't easy but when their mom and dad split up it brought them peace and they were happy kids at the age of 2, 8, and 11. The 2 year old was too young to understand at that time but the others weren't. They were happy that they didn't have to hide in their bedrooms when daddy would drag mommy into the bedroom and have his way with her.
I have a pair of nieces who encouraged their mother (my sister) to divorce their dad. They were around 9 or 10 years old at the time. They were old enough to understand that daddy's drug habit, alcoholism, and abuse were not a good thing and they would be better off if mom and dad were split up so mom could find someone who doesn't take them for granted.
Just because your parents divorce was a terrible thing for you, it doesn't give you a free pass to label every marriage break-up as being the same.
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Location: Oconto Falls, WI | bowhunter29 - 5/8/2014 11:24 AM
KSauers - 5/8/2014 9:03 AM
How many of you have been stuck in this position? How many marriages have ended because of musky fishing? how many have been forced to decide between the wife and musky fishing up north or in Canada?
Dude, you're coming at this from the wrong perspective. Why does it have to be either / or?
If a hobby costs someone a marriage, their priorities are certainly in the wrong place. If someone is that selfish, they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Be a husband/father- don't stop dating your wife, help out around the house, spend quality time with her and the kids. Invest in your marriage!
I'm far from the worlds best husband but I do my part around the house and I spend a lot of time with my kids. My wife is very supportive of my hunting / fishing / rod building and she has NEVER said no to a hunting / fishing trip for me- she's never even given me a hard time about all the time I spend hunting and fishing. I'm one very fortunate man.
jeremy
Very well said. |
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Location: West Bend, WI | I labeled no one, nor am I judging them. Please dont say that I am. I know all situations are different and am not coming at anybody here. Easy guys. |
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| I figured I'd chime in on this post considering I'm goin thru it rite now. My wife and I have known each other since high school, after school she left and went and modeled in New York for 3 yrs. and we were on and off. We both wanted to be together and eventually when she got sick of it she came back and we got married had a son and started our life together. Well 12 yrs later and we can't even stand to be around each other. We used to not wanna be anywhere but where the other was. We have a great kid, he's the absolute best part of me, loves basketball and fishin just like his ol' man and he's just all that I could've ever asked for and be blessed with. But there comes a time when there's been so many bad things said and done that its hard to go back from. We live seperate now and it's almost relieving to not come home and wonder what I'm gonna get good guyed at for. Or what arguement would come about for absolute petty things and the stress factors for all involved including my son are way down. When we were together my wife and I fought constantly and half the time by the time it was over wed forget why the hell we even started fighting in the first place. I am lucky that my wife and I put my sons feelings first and we split time rite down the middle. His school work has actually improved and his teacher said he seems less tense and stressed out. Wich makes me feel like it was way to much fighting while we were together. I think it all just comes down to dif. People and dif. Situations. But separating has seemed to work for us. And we actually get along better now than we have in years!!! So ill have to go with Sled on this one. Y stay unhappy for the rest of your life change can be a very good thing. Who knows what will happen in the future but for rite now we are doing all we can to b happy wo each other and it seems to be working for us! |
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Location: minocqua, wi. | a couple great pieces of advice i got during the toughest times when loss of the family cell and especially time with my kids came from a guy who was the age i am now. he couldn't have been more correct.
1. there will come a time when you are happier than you would ever imagine again
2. they are your kids when you are an old man, put them first and make the time you have positive and you'll be closer to them than you were when your were in the marital home every day.
there are couples who survive through faith, counseling or other support = i get that, but if you are "compensating" and becoming someone other than the you that was and is allowed to be, then you're never going to be truly happy.
and most important … i wish i could remember who told me this but it is ABSOLUTELY true.
Kids Bounce … they don't Break …
you and they will survive and quite possibly thrive in a situation where they get to spend time with the real you that is not being filtered through the tension and crud of a bad relationship.
some strangers will find their way into your life during the time you spend doing what makes you happy … they will become the best friends you've ever had. i cannot imagine life without the friendships that have come my way or the hobbies we enjoy together on the water and on the ice. i share that with a fantastic lady, her kids, my kids and a long list of friends who visit … life is very, very good as a result. some of those friends have become like uncles to my kids.
Edited by jonnysled 5/10/2014 10:22 AM
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Location: Planet Meltdown | My wife is giving me "the eye" as I'm reading this and she's cleaning. Later fellas.... |
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Location: Greenfield, WI | I am a newly wed......of 37 years!
My wife doesn't fish (yet), but loves being in the boat "soaking in the rays", reading her books, or just enjoying time on the water.
I enjoy the view!
She comes from a "City Family", but three years ago started hunting and is loving it. I would not be surprised if she started fishing sometime soon as well.
She doesn't expect or demand full time attention or the need to be with me on all my adventures full time, nor would I expect or demand that she be always along. Some of those times in gale force winds, freezing rain or snow are tough enough on me, much less for her.
When she joins us her comfort is paramount. She must be comfortably warm and dry (thank God for Gortex!), have snacks and drink, and I need to be willing to take breaks. I treat her as good or better than I do my guiding clients. May be I don't do full days of "pounding" when she is along, but I am thankful for our time together when it happens.
My secret, if you can call it that, is being as devoted and engaged for her time and interests as I am for mine.
Long ago I learned that, if you take care of the ladies a lot of good things happen!
It is not rocket science!
Edited by Steve Van Lieshout 5/11/2014 9:53 AM
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| After two failed marriages, I got the love of my life and what I truly consider the perfect wife for me. I'm blessed to have her and cherish her ! Not much she can't do and a lot better than me...well that might not be too hard to do. She won't hunt, however sure can fish and the cold is not an issue for her. She out fishes a lot of my friends. Not bragging just HAPPILY MARRIED !!!! :-)) |
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| Steve Van Lieshout - 5/11/2014 9:47 AM
May be I don't do full days of "pounding" when she is along, but I am thankful for our time together when it happens.
Am I the only one who read this and busted out laughing? HAHAHA A good laugh in a thread that is rather serious and affects a lot of our fellow Musky dudes...
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Location: Sawyer County, WI |
I waited quite a few years before getting married and I'm d@mn glad I did. I was lucky enough to find a great woman and had enough time to rule out a few that would have been long term trouble. To be fair, there were a few that ruled me out as well, and that was just fine.
No disrespect to those who have told their stories, but I find it hard to believe that "fishing" was the single cause for dissolution of any marriage. If people (women included) spent as much time choosing a spouse as they did selecting which reel they are going to use for double 10s they'd probably be able to see/experience future compatibility issues before saying "I do".
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| The bottom line is you have to be happy, don't go to your grave with regret. When the going gets tough, only you will be looking out for you. If you made a mistake, learn from it an move on, don't dwell in it. |
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| After all the "winter net" bickering it's refeshing to see we actually have a good group of guys (married, divorced and single) who have a good head on their shoulders! Life's too short! Age is only a number and if you stay young at heart you'll never grow old....more to life than Muskie and balance is key in the end! There's some good dudes on here! Now go catch some #*^@ fish! |
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Location: Lafayette, IN | dfkiii - 5/12/2014 2:03 AM If people (women included) spent as much time choosing a spouse as they did selecting which reel they are going to use for double 10s they'd probably be able to see/experience future compatibility issues before saying "I do".
Pretty good stuff right there! I'll say it again... priorities. |
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Location: Maribel WI | Considering a person has to sift through Muskie Board forums to get decent advise about muskies, Id be very careful taking advise about my family and marriage here. |
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Location: Mauston, Wisconsin | KSauers - 5/9/2014 9:02 AM
Been married for 25 years. One child out on her own and the other goes to Point. Recently retired after 40 years on the work force. Now the wife says not one penny of retirement savings will be used for fishing. Someone mentioned a counselor,his idea was ,sell my boat,take a quarter of the procedes,take one last fishing trip and then NEVER FISH AGAIN. Great advice. The wife expects me to just easily giv e up something I've done my entire lfe because neither her or the counselor have a clue. Fishing or any other outdoor activity means nothing to them
Sled is right, you have to be happy or it will end anyway....... better to make it quick. after all she still has the counseler.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwRrKaq0IyY
Maybe she needs a stronger hint?
https://www.appealingsigns.com/taxonomy/term/14/im-sure-gonna-miss-h...
There is hope if you have a good lawyer. This truck was parked next to mine when I came out of cardiac rehab the other day.
Edited by ESOX Maniac 5/12/2014 9:17 AM
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| As a Seminary trained (The Master's Seminary) Senior Pastor (Calvary Bible Church Ketchikan Alaska) of 14 years--who does a fair amount of marriage counseling a couple things that might be helpful---very interesting reading by the way----
1. Everyone has one thing in life they truly hold dear---its the thing they worship---the thing they are most passionate about, look forward to, long for, the thing one looks toward to bring them ultimate happiness---if that thing is Musky fishing, or hunting, or you insert whatever you want in the blank---it will be very difficult to be happily married--or stay married for that matter----for your spouse will not have the same passion for this thing that you do.
2. Marriage is about love and self sacrifice for someone else---if one goes into marriage thinking primarily about what they are going to get rather than what they are going to give it is doomed to failure.
3. No person or hobby or thing can bring the ultimate happiness that men and woman are seeking----Only a relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ can fill the inherent emptiness of man's heart.
4. Its is our personal sin---missing the mark of perfection that causes such difficulty in marriage---instead of having one sinner living under your roof now you have two---apart from God's grace, all marriages would be doomed to failure. Only as each individual in the marriage focuses on loving God as their ultimate object of worship---can they as a couple live together in love, harmony, joy, peace, and blessing.
5. Make no mistake about it---even couples who love God, and love their spouse, struggle to have a good marriage---like others have well said--it takes work, sacrifice, and effort, and there is a real, literal enemy of God---Satan--that works trying to destroy marriages.
6. Finally, don't get married based on external things like looks, or having a lot of laughs together---there must be a much deeper love---a self sacrificing love---for the external things--the shallow things will quickly pass away. I tell guys there is no crime in staying single if they want to live for their fishing, hunting, sports, toys...no crime in that at all---if you get married do it for the right reasons--and make sure you and your finance are on the same page about the things that really matter. |
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Location: Muskegon Michigan | I divorced three before I got the current one. She hunts and fishes all the time. Two past Muskies inc titles to her credit. In my case leaving her home would be cause for divorce. Mike |
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| fishhawk50 - 5/9/2014 6:44 PM
vegas492 - 5/9/2014 12:50 PM
fishhawk50 - 5/8/2014 2:59 PM
vegas492 - 5/8/2014 1:30 PM
My wife picked out our Ranger.
Count me as a lucky one too.
My wife is constantly dreaming about how we can either have careers in Vilas County, or how we can save to retire there early.
Again, count me as lucky.
ummm.. your wife's name wouldn't happen to be Deb would it? that is describing my wife to a T!
And if I said it was?
Her name is Jen. Probably related to your wife, though.
my wife's sister's name is Jen... how weird is that huh?
This is getting spooky. Sorry but my wife has no sisters. Although many people have asked when they see her back my truck up at the landing so I can get the Ranger on it.
I see a lot of people being negative about marriage/spouses. I guess it is all about compromise. I do a lot of things for my wife that I wouldn't do normally, but have now grown to enjoy, like going to church. She has made me better that way, and I feel blessed everyday because she challenged me to try that. And on the flip side, I introduced her to nature and the northwoods and wouldn't you know it, she loved it. |
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Location: 31 | When I was dating my wife back in the late-80s, her boss use to bug her to bring in pictures of the muskies as soon as I got back. When he heard that I had just returned from LOTW, he asked her if he could see them, she told him that it would have to wait because I was already gone on a “turn around trip” (I thought giving it a title like that would help ;)) The funny part is a gal in her office heard them talking and said to her; “if that was my boyfriend, I'd tell him if he tried to take off fishing again like that, I'll be gone when he got back”. Future wife said; “you'd be packing your bags pretty quick then”. I always chuckle a little when I think of the silence that must have followed. |
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Location: SE Wisconsin | Pointerpride102 - 5/8/2014 8:52 PM Detroithardcore nails it. Yes he does! |
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Location: Kansas City BBQ Capitol of the world | I have seen it happen where the fish became an addiction and the marriage ended.
Ron |
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| Didn`t want kids so no reason to get married. Why have a second opinion or have to ask for permission? Life is too short. |
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| Being gone over the road for the last too many years put a big strain on two marriages, however those two really liked the money. My Wife of a lifetime now looks forward to me being home for my monthly week at home and she absolutely loves muskie and Pike fishing too. Hiking, long walks or just spending time together with our dogs makes her delighted. I used to be addicted to trucking , now I'm looking forward to making my last run and living normal and spending time being with my wife and dogs .....AND FISHING !!! My wife can wait either !! She is my favorite fishing partner. |
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| Storm Strike - 5/12/2014 10:41 AM
3. No person or hobby or thing can bring the ultimate happiness that men and woman are seeking----Only a relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ can fill the inherent emptiness of man's heart.
I was with you until this one. I'm sorry, but this is a major assumption on your part. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, but when I am up in the peace & quiet and musky fishing in the wilderness...I actually do feel happy/happier AND, get this, closer to "god" or whatever/whomever one wants to call it.
I dislike the hustle and bustle of the city and rude people; though I deal with it as a means to an end to make a living now (so I can eventually move up North full time retired at a "young" age). I am a much nicer and relaxed person when I am doing "my thing", which happens to be Musky Fishing. I also feel closer to "life" and more "spiritual" in general.
Bottom line is that what works for some, doesn't work for others. Everyone is different, and has a different perspective.
This thread is interesting, funny, and pathetic at the same time. I still don't get how someone who is married is supposed to "give up" fishing after so many years of marriage. That actually seems preposterous that this wasn't known up front...BUT I see the flip side to it. I've been in a situation where I told a woman up front I would NEVER move to her city, and she said she understood. So we dated, and then when it got serious, she wanted me to move to her city after 1.5 years. I said, "Huh? We discussed this before we REALLY started dating seriously." Her response, "I know you said that, but I didn't think you meant it." My response was "I say what I mean. No other meanings, take everything I say at face value." This was in a restaurant, so she starts crying and then tosses a drink in my face and runs out crying. I called her cell phone while sitting ni the restaurant and broke up with her. I think sometimes men or women get some sort of "scenario" in their mind (like a fantasy), and when it doesn't come to fruition...things blow up. All you can do is be honest/true to yourself, and try not to hurt the other person too much in the process. Sometimes two people are just incompatible. |
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Posts: 156
Location: Northwest Chicago Burbs | Nothing better than a wife that can out fish you!!
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Location: oswego, il | How about posting significant other pics and we can argue and bicker over their measurements?lol. Good posting keep it going. |
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Posts: 2058
| muskyrat - 5/18/2014 7:39 AM
Didn`t want kids so no reason to get married. Why have a second opinion or have to ask for permission? Life is too short.
Second opinion - LOL |
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Posts: 829
Location: Maple Grove, MN | I have to agree with Storm Strike. No hobby is ever going to truly satisfy a person.
I have found myself using hobbies and professional accomplishments to satisfy and it just doesn't do it. If only I could catch a giant Muskie, then I'd be happy. And then I caught one and it was exciting, but satisfying only for a short time. Then I felt if only I caught more big fish, then I'd be happy. I did and it was the same thing again. It was nice to catch a big fish, but really not a big deal. It became like chasing a dream that could never quite be caught because the dream was never enough. I was just repeating the same pattern that I had done with so many other things. For instance, work was the same way for me. Another promotion, another invention, another fortune 500 customer - never ended. Even though I accomplished great things, it was never enough.
I've been married for 16 years now and was into Muskie fishing long before I met my wife. During that time I've learned its best to keep a balance between God, family, work and hobbies - in that order. My family is very important to me, but the love is not always returned. I can love my hobbies or job, but no fish or job ever loved me back. Only God and his son are always there for me. And only God's love could fill that bottomless pit, that empty hole that could not be filled by hobbies, accomplishments or people.
Like so many couples, my wife and I have had troubles in our marriage. Looking back at it, it was pretty much all my fault. In my pursuit of hobbies and accomplishments, I have all to often gotten my priorities all messed up. I love fishing and always will. But fishing can never come before God or family. If it does, then things get out of balance and problems arise. Just as sure as the sun coming up in the morning, its going happen.
I find it helpful to stop once in a while and look if the path that I'm on is heading where I truly want to go. Do I want a happy family? Do I want God in my life? Or do I want to live at work for that promotion or fish all the time to catch an even larger fish? Do I want to be remembered as a person who only cared about himself and his hobbies - or one that was willing to sacrifice for what was truly important? How should fishing, hunting and other hobbies fit into my life?
Everyone must make their own choices - and everyone must live with the consequences for those choices. I have not always made good choices and it has cost me. Now I'm trying to make better choices.
So, as to the discussion, what does one truly want? Figure that out and the rest will come. |
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Posts: 63
| Wow, love this thread. My first marriage was a bust, due to my ex wife's selfishness. She was unhappy, and refused to deal with any issues that would cause direct conflict. SO one day after coming home from fishing, she asked for a divorce. I was the devoted one, and she was done. No other way to put it. I gave up so much of myself, and had been working myself into the ground, and was till broke trying to provide for her the "White picket fence, two dogs, and two kids family." Well, no more. I gave up so much of who and what I was throughout our marriage that I lost a lot of it. It was just in the last year or two that I started getting some of it back when she asked for the divorce.
On to wife (to be, fiancé') number two.... We met on Match.com, due completely to the two pictures I posted. I put two pictures of myself, holding a muskie. That's it, well sort of. I of course had all the likes/ dislikes, what I was looking for etc. She sent me the messages wondering about the fish! We have been together now for over a year and a half. She KNOWs how much I fish, and expects nothing less. She loves to muskie fish right along side me. She is financially independent. We moved in together close to a year ago and will be married in August. Yes, I even got a replica of my largest muskie ordered and she is making it the focus of our living room. I never knew how much the former wife drained me financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Not intentionally, she was a good woman. But completely the opposite of my fiancé. We took our vacation last year to Lake Vermillion for the Gil Hamm, and will be there again this year on Lake of the Woods. How can I ask for more???? Love her to death, and expect to fish the rest of my life away with her. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.....
I should thank my ex for asking for a divorce, but I am not sure she deserves a thank you since I feel it was her portion of the marriage that failed, simply because she wouldn't try..... But then, if she had, I may never have truly found myself. I may not have found my soul mate.... SO she will get a thank you, regardless of the pain she caused not only me, but our 10 year old son and her 16 year old son..... |
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Location: Muskegon Michigan | Kurt, I hope you are able to work through this. I second the part time job Idea to make a little extra for fishing. Mike |
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Posts: 243
Location: South Central Wisconsin | My priorities have changed. Hanging it up for a few years, selling all my equipment, and marrying the girl of my dreams. I'll be back, just not sure when. My first marriage failed because of my addiction to these awesome fish. I'm not screwing this one up!
Edited by Randy 5/25/2014 11:41 AM
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