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| Now, before you Yankees go ta readin this, I jus' wanna make it what Dickie Nixon used to call "Purrrrfectly clear": us Southern folks can poke fun at each othern, but you cain't. This is all in fun. Fer us. enjoy.
From the South
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you call
the front desk and say, "I've gotta leak in my sink", and the
person at the front desk says, "Go ahead."
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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee
to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
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What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
A documentary.
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How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum?
Two. One to eat and one to watch for traffic.
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Why did God invent Armadillos?
So that Texas rednecks can have 'possum on the half shell.
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Where was the toothbrush invented?
Oklahoma. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a
teethbrush.
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An Arkansas State Trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to
the
driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout what?"
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Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner
gets $3 a year for a million years.
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Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas, burned
down?
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
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A new law recently passed in North Carolina:
When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
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What's the best thing ever to come out of Tennessee?
I-40.
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Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward each
other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says "Hey Tommy
Ray,
what'cha got in that thar' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guess how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them." "OK. Ummmmmmmm.
. . five?"
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A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next
door,
telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is
on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "How do we get there?" "Shucks, don't you still
have them big red trucks?"
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Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
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What do you have when you have 32 Rednecks in the same room? A full set
of teeth.
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Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his
entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it until she's fourteen.
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What's the most popular pick-up line in Alabama?
"Nice tooth".
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| Still laughing dude!!!! Using some FMLA today eh?[;)] | |
| | |
| Shucks, Sponge, why don't these lists ever pick on Virginians?
OK, why don't they have live manger scenes in Virginia during Christmas? They can't find three wise men and a virgin! There, I'm better.
Where ya been, vacation again? One thing about these government jobs, they pay you just as good NOT to be here! m[:bigsmile:] | |
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| hee hee heee! Hit the woods for a few days w/ the assorted sponges...finally rained here, place was beginning to remind me of "Death Valley Days". Let me know if you are hitting Cave Run this fall><>><>>>[:sun:] | |
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| Kentucky state motto: Everybody's Kin in Kintucky
What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
Either way someone is losing a trailer. | |
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| Just dyin' to sound off with my favorite Southern humor. But in the interest of fair play I will hold my keyboard. It's just that the target is so easy. You guys do have me chuckling out loud. | |
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| Why do Oklahoma license plate have the motto "Oklahoma is OK"?
They couldn't find anyone in the state who could spell "mediocre"
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Northern fairy tails begin "Once upon a time..."
Southern fairy tails begin "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t...."
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If Tarzan and Jane were southerners, what would Cheetah be?
Lunch!
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| Did someone say Lunch?? LOL
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What did the 12yr old girl from Kintuky say to her daddy?
Get off me your crushing my cigarettes!
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You could be a redneck if.....
* You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
* Your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.
* You think safe sex is a padded headboard (that one's for Slamr [:p] ) | |
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Southern humor