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| Midwestern Travel Rules
Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners
and Californians visit the Midwest. The Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin and
surrounding states Tourism Councils have adopted a new policy in an
effort to help outsiders understand the rural Midwesterner's mind.
The following list will be handed to each person as they enter the
Midwest.
1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than
you do all week at the gym. How'd you like to go home and tell your
momma you got your butt kicked by a big guy in bib overalls?
2. It's called a 'gravel road.' So no matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because
I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old.
Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get
your butt kicked...by our women.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a
muskie breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little
13-inch trout you fish for...bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their
final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up
to your ear at the time.
8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what
you paid in the airport for one drink.
9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak, and
order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two
pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass
with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.
10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice.
11. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We
have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.
12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop
when
it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want to. So,
you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
14. Yeah, we eat catfish,--and turtle. You really want sushi and
caviar?
It's available at the bait shop.
15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like
it? Interstate 94 goes two ways, Interstate 35 goes the other two.
Pick one and use it accordingly.
16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious holiday held the Saturday before Thanksgiving. You can get
breakfast at the church.
17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Understand the concept?
18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It
spooks the fish.
19. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving
like an idiot...his name is "Sir"... no matter how old he is.
Now, enjoy your visit and then go home...
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| It's sad because the one about the combine is really true. | |
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| LOL CADESTER! Sounds much like the "southern" way....especially the "Coke". Funny how many peeps from "up there" keep coming to our beaches...checking out the historical stuff; Jamestown, Williamsburg etc....hopefully they will leave w/ good memories + if they stay, adapt accordingly...California is a world to itself + they do have great waves/skateboard parks although I gave that stuff up quite a few yrs. ago! Life here is usually slower giving us time to reflect back on what is important...I remember as a "teener" wanting to hit the big cities + live the "high life"..that got old after time + I eventually settled down back here somewhat...a "Navigator" here is a wife giving you directions to Wally Mart, the lawn mower or the trash can....[:sun:] | |
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| HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm from CALIFORNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![:sun:] | |
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| Hey Steve, great post. However, there are "good ole boys" where ever people live. Wondering tho' If you divorce your wife out there, are you still brother and sister?
[:)] [;)] [:p] [8)] [::)] [:0] [:(] [:((] [:bigsmile:] [:sun:] [:devil:] [:halo:] [:kiss:] [:knockout:] [:blackeye:] [:praise:] | |
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Rules