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Posts: 238
| “The problem with quotes posted to internet fishing forums is you can never be certain of their accuracy.”
~ Abraham Lincoln |
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| "There are three type of lies: lies, D@MNABLE lies, and fishing stories." —Benjamin Disraeli (D@mned net nanny!) |
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Posts: 815
Location: Waukee, IA | "Everybody Wang Chung tonight."
-Adolf Hitler- |
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Posts: 1416
Location: oconomowoc, wi | "works of art?" "they're bucktails!"
Pointer |
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Posts: 3136
| "Put the ####### lotion in the basket" !!!!
Wild bill |
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| "Gimme 3 sliders, 2 gut bombs and a box of nails."
White castle patron |
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Posts: 144
Location: Loves Park, IL | "Aaaaaalllllllll Rightyyyyyy then"
Ace Ventura/Pet Detective. |
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Posts: 20179
Location: oswego, il | I will get married again when I am tired of being happy or I have so much #*#* I want to get rid of half of it!
--Tony Hardin |
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Location: Eastern Ontario | You can lead a horse to water but you can't teach it new tricks.
Anonymous
Edited by horsehunter 6/19/2015 5:53 PM
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Location: varies | " Tis but a scratch"
the black knight |
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Posts: 1529
| your only as good as the day you fish....that,ll humble a few....ego,s |
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Location: Eastern Ontario | Woman who cooks carrots and pees in same pot unsanitary
Confucius |
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Posts: 718
| "Only a mediocre man is at his best everyday" |
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Posts: 2004
| "Boy! That escalated quickly! I mean that really got out of hand fast" |
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| "You're the coolest Muskies Inc dooches I've ever met." - Baldy -
Edited by M Winther 6/19/2015 8:07 PM
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Posts: 8719
| "No offense to tunnel visioned musky weenies..."
Doug Johnson |
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Posts: 1080
Location: Aurora | "There he goes..
One of God's own prototypes.
Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production.
Too weird to live, and too rare to die."
~Hunter S. Thompson~ |
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Posts: 2228
Location: SE, WI. | If you always do, what you always did, you will always get, what you always got!!! Tom Gelb You are just one cast away from being a hero:) Joe Bucher |
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Posts: 76
| "Never lick a gift muskie in the mouth!"
Lacer Rated Tongue |
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Posts: 1348
Location: Pewaukee, WI | Here's a few I picked up from this site:
Muskie Fishing....It's not a matter of life & death...It's much more important than that!
Women break your heart, big fish break your line along with it.
“May I be half the man my dog thinks I am”.
You'll get what I got when I get it!
Edited by bigbite 6/20/2015 9:20 AM
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Posts: 4269
Location: Ashland WI | "When I was 14, my old man was the most ignorant person I knew. When I was 21, I was amazed at how much he had learned in 7 years."
-Mark Twain- |
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Posts: 3518
Location: north central wisconsin | Sidejack - 6/20/2015 12:13 AM
"There he goes..
One of God's own prototypes.
Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production.
Too weird to live, and too rare to die."
~Hunter S. Thompson~
What? No. We can't stop here. This is bat country. |
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Posts: 3518
Location: north central wisconsin | "I wasn't looking at his neck, man."
Strawberry |
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Posts: 20179
Location: oswego, il | Don't clutter the issue with facts. |
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Location: varies | ' I've never caught a fifty'
That guy^
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Location: Sawyer County, WI |
"Allow trolling in Northern Wisconsin and I promise I'll keep every fish I catch"
That "other" guy |
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Posts: 656
Location: Forest Lake, Mn. | "Waves on the water makes the wind blow."
Steve Worrall |
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Posts: 656
Location: Forest Lake, Mn. | "I was going to quote myself but I never say anything memorable."
Me.
Edited by fishpoop 6/20/2015 1:22 PM
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Posts: 66
| Epitaph on the hypochondriac’s grave stone: “I told you I was sick!” |
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Posts: 13688
Location: minocqua, wi. | there are times the best thing you can do is punt on second down |
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Posts: 365
| Young lady ,, could you please tell your breasts to stop staring at my eyes! |
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Posts: 20179
Location: oswego, il | You scratch my back and I get my back scratched.
-selfish guy |
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Location: Sawyer County, WI |
“No human can withstand that many hits"
Ryan Kesler |
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Posts: 1516
| If I had known I wa going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.
Mickey Mantel |
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Posts: 718
| Life is tough. It's alot tougher if you're stupid.-John Wayne |
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| "FISH ON!!!".... "Get the net!"
everyone |
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Posts: 16632
Location: The desert | Big bucks make big tracks. |
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Posts: 340
Location: Lake County Illinois | Quote from Homer Simpson: " To alcohol ! The cause of... and solution to... all of lifes problems " |
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Posts: 734
Location: Watertown, MN | Don't worry they are not lost, they have 7 days to find their way back to there resort.
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Posts: 410
Location: one foot over the line | Surely you can't be serious? I am, and don't call me Shirley.
What's your vector, Victor?
Roger, Roger.
You've got clearance, Clarence.
Do you like movies about gladiators?
Looks like i picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.
What can you make of this? I can make a bird, or a little hat...
I just want you to know that we are all counting on you.
I just want you to know that we are all counting on you. |
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Posts: 718
| This came from one of my clients when discussing pretty girls...."You can look, but they ain't looking back". |
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Posts: 656
Location: Forest Lake, Mn. | "You ever want to go fishing, look me up!"
Mr. Steve Worrall.
(maybe someday I can take him up on that) |
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Posts: 1126
Location: Minnesota. | "Hold my beer and watch this".... |
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Posts: 1759
Location: new richmond, wi. & isle, mn | " If he fell from his ego to his IQ, he'd plummet to his death "
The Common Man |
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Posts: 1516
| I didn't think that was gonna happen. |
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Posts: 20179
Location: oswego, il | At the pilot gas station outside Plymouth Indiana after the third time trying to get his money on his gas pump:
Fat and stupid is no way to go through life.
--Tony Hardin |
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Posts: 20179
Location: oswego, il | Last night at the UMP summer nationals at fairbury a lady in front of my whipped a box of popcorn at a.couple she was.upset with. Later on I bought a box of popcorn.
Thanks lady, I just bought a box of popcorn and they asked to see my FOID card!
-me |
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Posts: 365
| Todd ---- whats a UMP car ??? used to run a late model at Fairbury and Peoria ,,,, also drag cars at Oswego drag strip ,,, is the drag strip still there ?? ------ jimjimjim |
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Posts: 66
| Almost immediately after launching any boat: "I thought YOU put the plug in!"
Edited by Dave F 6/21/2015 5:04 PM
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Posts: 3136
| "How can someone shoot women and children"!!,,,Easy,you just don't lead em has much!
Full metal jacket |
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Posts: 4343
Location: Smith Creek | I AM CORNHOLIO!!
-Beavis |
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Posts: 529
| Not really famous quotes but still fun to read
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
I used to do drugs — I still do, but I used to, too.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.
I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.
An escalator can never break — it can only become stairs.
This shirt is ‘dry-clean only’ — which means it’s dirty.
When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.
I find a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have
bread.
I wish I could play little league now, I’d be way better than before.
I love my FedEx guy cause he’s a drug dealer and he doesn’t even know it — and
he’s always on time.
The last time I called ‘shotgun’, we had rented a limo, so I ****ed up.
This sign says “IMPROV,” but I had a bad set on Friday night, so yesterday they put an “E” on the end of it.
I got an ant farm; them fellas didn’t grow #*#*.
I don’t have a microwave oven, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks stuff.
I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.
I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.
If you’re flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
People tell me how hard it is to stop smoking; I think it’s about as hard as it is to start flossing.
I’m a hard act to follow, because when I’m done, I take the microphone with me.
You don’t have to be sweaty and holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade; you
could just be a thirsty dude — Gatorade forgets about this demographic!
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said “No, but I want a regular banana later, so… yeah.”
I’d hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
I put fruit on top of my waffles, because I want something to brush off.
I was gonna have my teeth whitened, but then I said **** that, I’ll just get a tan instead.
When I was on acid I would see things like beams of light, and I would hear things that sounded an awful lot like car horns.
One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,”Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is of you when you were younger.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus? Or just a really cool opotamus?
I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records — nothing was alphabetized.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
What happened when Jesus wanted to swim?
Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.
If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work.
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying “Here, you throw this away.”
A dog is forever in the push-up position.
I got a parrot and it talked, but it did not say I’m hungry, so it died.
I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m going to ask them where they’re going and
hook up with them later.
I turned to my friend and said “How do you abbreviate Arkansas”. He said “I don’t
know, just start spelling it, and then quit”.
I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling, I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me.
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem — it’s not the photographer’s fault.
I order the club sandwich all the time and I’m not even a member. I don’t know how I get away with it.
Alcoholism is a disease, but it’s the only one you can get yelled at for having.
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up; so which one’s the real hero?
At the end of my letters, I like to write ‘P.S. – this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.’
If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, “Dude, thanks for the hammock.”
Swiss Cheese is a rip-off — it’s the only cheese I can bite into and miss.
It’s very dangerous to wave to people you don’t know because what if they don’t have hands? They’ll think you’re cocky.
-Mitch Hedberg
Edited by anzomcik 6/22/2015 8:08 AM
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Posts: 20179
Location: oswego, il | I was a free safety in high school, I could take you out.
--muskyboy |
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Posts: 238
Location: Illinois | They drew first blood not me...they drew first blood.
John Rambo |
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Posts: 45
| From my old motorcycle racing days.
Its tough not to be stupid, but if your going to be stupid, you better be tough. |
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Posts: 5874
| Some is good. More is better. Too much is just right! Speed costs money. How fast do you want to go? -Terry Blazer 2 biggest lies ever told. The check is in your mouth. I won't come in the mail. -Anonymous
Edited by Shep 6/22/2015 10:09 AM
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Posts: 13688
Location: minocqua, wi. | "see that rock, throw it over there" ... |
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Posts: 4343
Location: Smith Creek | This is a very complicated case. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder’s head. Fortunately, I’m adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber
-The Dude |
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Posts: 58
| Well sure theirs a lot to it, but it sure as hell ain't rocket surgery!!! |
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Posts: 52
| " I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; I like less than half of you as you deserve." - Bilbo |
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Posts: 345
Location: Poynette WI. | I'm all jacked up on mtn. Dew!
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Posts: 518
Location: Cave Run Lake KY. | Vince Lombardi Green Bay Game , What in hell is going on out there !!!!!! |
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Posts: 223
Location: minneapolis | On first launch of the season a few years back I nearly sunk my boat as I forgot to put the plug in. I had to swim down 4 feet to shove the plug in before it sank, and emerged from the lake and straggled up the shore towards the boat ramp completely soaked to which a partner quoted “ Now that’s what I call a Wet T-shirt contest ! “ |
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Posts: 410
Location: one foot over the line | I slaughtered that horse last Tuesday, i was beginnin to think it turned. |
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Posts: 718
| 'The world is not prepared for what is down there'-Jacques Cousteau |
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Posts: 410
Location: one foot over the line | ^^^^ i thought that was Linda Lovelace. |
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Posts: 17
Location: Grand Forks AFB | MUSKIES SUCK!!
Pete Mainia |
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Posts: 20179
Location: oswego, il | Nobody, I mean nobody puts ketchup on a hotdog.
--Dirty Harry |
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Posts: 4269
Location: Ashland WI | "If his knees are worn out, hire him. If his ass is worn out, fire him"
-Old General Contractor- |
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Posts: 1516
| "I feel sorry for people who don't drink, they wake up in the morning feeling as good as they will feel all day."
"I am drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
Winston Churchill
Edited by Pepper 6/23/2015 1:59 PM
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Posts: 559
| Flambeauski - 6/22/2015 10:29 AM
This is a very complicated case. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder’s head. Fortunately, I’m adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber
-The Dude The Dude Rocks The old man said take any rug in the place |
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Posts: 25
| I love the smell of napalm (muskies) in the morning...it smells like victory! |
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Posts: 410
Location: one foot over the line | bobbie - 6/23/2015 7:02 PM
Flambeauski - 6/22/2015 10:29 AM
This is a very complicated case. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder’s head. Fortunately, I’m adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber
-The Dude The Dude Rocks The old man said take any rug in the place
Sometimes you eat the bar, and...,well, sometimes the bar eats you. |
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Location: varies | *U*#!!! |
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Location: MN | Mother should I trust the government? |
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Posts: 410
Location: one foot over the line | Nershi - 6/24/2015 5:12 PM
Mother should I trust the government?
of course mother is going to help build the wall. |
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Posts: 656
Location: Forest Lake, Mn. | anzomcik - 6/22/2015 8:01 AM
I’d hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
That is only 1/2 of a very old joke. Which goes: What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? Dolly Parton with a chest cold.
Edited by fishpoop 6/25/2015 4:26 AM
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Posts: 3136
| Sometimes I wonder? "Is that frisbee getting larger"?,,and then it hits me!!!! |
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Posts: 656
Location: Forest Lake, Mn. | The fish are either shallow, deep, or somewhere in between.
E.L. "Buck" Perry |
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Posts: 215
Location: Wisconsin | The immortal words of Socrates: "I drank what?" |
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Posts: 114
| .
Edited by JMacD 7/18/2015 9:45 AM
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Posts: 114
| "90% of musky fishing sucks, it's the 10% that keeps you coming back" Joe Bucher said to my buddy's 12 year old son
"Pete, Pete, Pete...what do I do, what do I do" John G
"'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I got that going for me, which is nice." Carl Spackler
""Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it." Al Czervik
"I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them." Judge Smails
"Badges? We don't need no stinking badges." Mexican Bandit - Blazing Saddles
"What in the Wide World of Sports is a-going on here? I hired you people to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots! " Taggart
"Excuse me while I whip this out." Sheriff Bart
"Uh uh. I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow you head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?
Dirty Harry
“I haven’t lost my temper in 40 years; but, Pilgrim, you caused a lot of trouble this morning; might have got somebody killed; and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won’t. I won’t. The hell I won’t!” John Wayne McLintock
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Posts: 39
| "You can't fix stupid"
Dalai Lama |
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Location: varies | you cant polish a terd |
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Posts: 452
| Do you get a free bowl of soup with that hat? Whoa, looks good on you though. Caddy Shack
Just a bit outside. Bob Ucher, Major League
Keep them wheels spinning and them beavers grinning. Smokey and the Bandit |
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Posts: 558
| Beauty is only a light switch away. |
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Posts: 558
| Prostitutes are like a box of chocolates, you pay more fore the good ones. |
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Posts: 558
| Stupid is what stupid does. |
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Posts: 558
| Looks like Chuck is taking old one eye to the optometrist. |
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| you will never get back the five seconds it took to read this.
Newcastle Brown Ale bottle cap. |
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Posts: 720
| Musky fishing sometimes is like trying to nail jelly to a tree.
Are you picking up what I'm laying down?
Edited by Hunter4 7/18/2015 9:35 PM
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Posts: 143
Location: Palatine, IL | anzomcik - 6/22/2015 8:01 AM
Not really famous quotes but still fun to read
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
I used to do drugs — I still do, but I used to, too.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.
I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.
An escalator can never break — it can only become stairs.
This shirt is ‘dry-clean only’ — which means it’s dirty.
When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.
I find a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have
bread.
I wish I could play little league now, I’d be way better than before.
I love my FedEx guy cause he’s a drug dealer and he doesn’t even know it — and
he’s always on time.
The last time I called ‘shotgun’, we had rented a limo, so I ****ed up.
This sign says “IMPROV,” but I had a bad set on Friday night, so yesterday they put an “E” on the end of it.
I got an ant farm; them fellas didn’t grow #*#*.
I don’t have a microwave oven, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks stuff.
I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.
I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.
If you’re flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
People tell me how hard it is to stop smoking; I think it’s about as hard as it is to start flossing.
I’m a hard act to follow, because when I’m done, I take the microphone with me.
You don’t have to be sweaty and holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade; you
could just be a thirsty dude — Gatorade forgets about this demographic!
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said “No, but I want a regular banana later, so… yeah.”
I’d hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
I put fruit on top of my waffles, because I want something to brush off.
I was gonna have my teeth whitened, but then I said **** that, I’ll just get a tan instead.
When I was on acid I would see things like beams of light, and I would hear things that sounded an awful lot like car horns.
One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,”Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is of you when you were younger.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus? Or just a really cool opotamus?
I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records — nothing was alphabetized.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
What happened when Jesus wanted to swim?
Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.
If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work.
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying “Here, you throw this away.”
A dog is forever in the push-up position.
I got a parrot and it talked, but it did not say I’m hungry, so it died.
I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m going to ask them where they’re going and
hook up with them later.
I turned to my friend and said “How do you abbreviate Arkansas”. He said “I don’t
know, just start spelling it, and then quit”.
I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling, I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me.
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem — it’s not the photographer’s fault.
I order the club sandwich all the time and I’m not even a member. I don’t know how I get away with it.
Alcoholism is a disease, but it’s the only one you can get yelled at for having.
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up; so which one’s the real hero?
At the end of my letters, I like to write ‘P.S. – this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.’
If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, “Dude, thanks for the hammock.”
Swiss Cheese is a rip-off — it’s the only cheese I can bite into and miss.
It’s very dangerous to wave to people you don’t know because what if they don’t have hands? They’ll think you’re cocky.
-Mitch Hedberg
I got to see Mitch twice. People either love him or hate him.... Or they think he's ok. |
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| I didn't waste my life to give what I EARNED in knowledge about catching these beasts so you can hang one on the f@#$^&$* wall to look at. That's what replicas are for dumbass, GET IT Steven Voi(H)t 2007 |
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Posts: 29
Location: Okauchee, WI | I'm in the habit of using my head. You ought to try it sometime.
Lee Van Cleef |
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Posts: 2865
Location: Brookfield, WI | "A gun without bullets is a meat mallet." Julia Child
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Posts: 65
| Never make just one last cast! -Gordy from Badfish |
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Posts: 4269
Location: Ashland WI | "Never argue with stupid, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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Posts: 45
| Hold my beer and watch this! |
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